Closer to a New Reality

As we have made our shift through the happiest day of the year (for the majority of us) - and have left it behind already, we have one more occasion to put us on hold for a little while longer. We can put work to one side for one more week - there's no need to contemplate the status of our lives just yet...

But then New Year's Eve will loop round very quickly and then we have to start all over again. Instead of moving to 'Go' and collecting '200', we will be climbing up a year in age, we will probably be entering 2010 with less money than we had in 2009...pardon me, my intentions are not to depress.

But I am approaching what should be a monumental year for me: I will be graduating from uni and will therefore have to begin my proper life; the one I've lived for 25 years already has been the warm-up. But what to do? I collate my achievements together in my thoughts and I try to string along a through-line, a theme even, that gives me a clear arrow that says 'this way to your goals'.

It's a scary thought for me, joining the working world again. But this time I beg that it won't be typing tedious drivel on a company PC or standing around with a painted smile on saying 'hello! can I help you find something?!' to people who clearly don't want to talk to me either. No - this time, I'm going to do it differently, it'll benefit me and the general public all at the same time.

I want to heal those that want to be healed...all the while healing myself. I'm going to use my Colour Therapy Diploma, I'm going to practice my Herbalism skills, I will take up Reiki and Angel Healing (It's what has been set out for me by the stars) I will continue to make aromatherapy candles - perhaps even expand the range. I will write my poetry book AND my collection of short stories...I will journey all this joy through myself and out to others...oh yes 2010...this is it!

Then again...I do things at a snail's pace and sometimes backwards...

...I'd better save this declaration for next year's resolutions as well.

The Baker - The Candle Maker

As the rain has been stealthily stealing the remaining snow away, I have been making things. They are gifts for loved ones; handmade things are usually best aren't they? Cookies and candles should warm their hearts...or perhaps just their bellies and homes.

I've noticed that the days are slowing down just a tad since Solstice; the shortest day of the year...bring on those sunlit evenings! I feel almost defeated when the night draws in at four-thirty in the afternoon; as if the day says: 'Time's up! No more tasks for you now!'

But it hasn't all been crafting, I split time for a matinee of Narnia - The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe...what magic there is waiting for us on a DVD when we need to leave our world for a while.

Since I have rekindled my love for children's fables and gothic legend (thinking about watching Sleepy Hollow too!) I've decided to go on a hunt on Etsy to find some precious nic nacs that make me feel like I am waltzing in a magnificent gown; snowflakes decorate my hair and from behind the trees, rabbits, deers, elves and nymphs come to greet me warmly.

Birthday, Christmas & General Celebrations

This was what I woke up to this morning...one would never believe that I reside in South London...but I can look at this picture and pretend that acres of nature wraps itself around my house.

I could feel the Christmas spirit for the very first time today, maybe it's because I saw barmen dressed up as reindeers. A gang of us met up for a friend's birthday, so the drinks kept coming and so did the general public. The pub was swarming with giddy office workers who had obviously finished work for the holidays. They'd been in there since 2pm, bellies full with a canteen turkey dinner; the buzz of secret santa had kept them all going for the whole day.

And there I was just happy because it was my last day at uni and I'd purchased my first gift for someone...I've left it a little late this year...but at least now that my Christmas buzz has started, it shouldn't burn out before it's over.

A sparrow in the garden

Today I went to see my good friend Natanya. I was a part of the enchanting photoshoot that she wonderfully organised for a very exciting fashion project she is working on. An owl was there too, and a magpie, a dove, a rabbit, a beetle, two ladybirds and of course Natanya herself; she resembles a forest fairy; she blows sparkles on all her creations...we wore the pretty dresses she made although we froze our little wings off in the cold! Experience Natanya's wonderful designs at: www.flutterbydaisy.co.uk

My fingertips were blue by the time I got home - note to self: must buy new gloves.

It's amazing how you can go from one world to another in just one day. I'm in the other one now, the one where I don't wear wings but fluffy slippers. Instead of a floaty dress, I sport an oversized cardigan and instead of being out amongst the trees, I am huddled up in my cave.

Like a butterfly from the cocoon, I'll emerge one day - fresh wings and new colours...fluttering on by to a completely different world.

Snowflakes and Nesting

Today I am housebound, but it's ok because I have snowflakes to look at; the leaves get a little dusting of childlike joy. It isn't enough snow to make me feel like I don't have to ever leave the house again...sometimes we need days like that.

But I've been cleaning today, cleaning like a demon! I made three Festive Cheer woodwick candles for a friend...the fragrance of Cinnamon & Orange and the soundtrack of Nick Drake goes perfectly with this day...fresh laundry and cups of tea...if only this home were mine to call my own, but it belongs to family. It is a rest stop for a few months until my real life begins.

Although in these winter days the closeness of siblings and kin make me feel like I have a rightful place in the world. But I keep longing though, longing for that day when I clasp my own keys and all choices are mine. I shall decorate the house like Mary Poppins tidies up: just a spoonful of sugar.

I will nest, nest like a busy little bird.

Dear Willow...

I long to send my words into the ethers like how petals twirl on the wind. Maybe they'll reach the grass beds over yonder and an echo will travel back; blossoms will come dancing back to me and fall into my lap.

So here I begin, and yet I've started so many times before...

Today I felt inspired but only from the crimson blanket under which I hide, to paint prettiness for my eyes only...I was supposed to concoct a master plan for literary success but of course, that'll never happen. Work is literally work and no amount of my own imagination will take the taxing process away from that. I like to write whatever and whenever, but I know now that isn't part of the deal when you do a Creative Writing degree.

So anon, was today...it slid down a slippery slope with me a few feet behind. It's time acceleration gone mad! Christmas next week...really?

It's getting too cold to sit under my weeping willow tree...but despite my frostbitten hands I refuse to leave it be.