tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3986181669525663382024-02-19T16:51:23.636-08:00Under a Weeping Willow...Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-23799836044225238902014-08-07T07:40:00.000-07:002014-08-07T07:44:52.314-07:00Aroma, Lammas and Earth Witchery<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image from We Heart It</td></tr>
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Following on from my previous post about natural perfume, I successfully made my first fragrance!<br />
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Friday 1st August was Lammas, the first of the three Pagan harvest celebrations leading us into Autumn. It is usually celebrated with baking bread and brewing ale and having a feast in honour of the Irish deity, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lugh" target="_blank">Lugh</a>. And during this feast we give thanks for our abundance and our blessings (I didn't bake bread, nor did I make ale but I dedicated the evening to him all the same!) Harvesting, creating and working with natural ingredients - I thought this would be the perfect time to put my aromatherapy knowledge and crafty hands to work.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image from Tumblr</td></tr>
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I created a portrait perfume of my sister. If she was a colour, she'd be indigo, if she were a taste, she'd be an exotic floral herbal tea, if she were a sound, she'd be the sound of windchimes, if she were a shape, she'd be a star. And so using this synaethesic palette, I made a blend of Frankincense, Ylang-Ylang, Rose, Jasmine, Neroli and Mandarin. I perfomed Reiki on the blend and have stored it in a dark purple glass jar for it to brew and with the high energy of Lammas infused, it'll charge her with the highest vibrations when she wears it. It's almost ready to bottle and every day I give it a shake and check on how it's coming along - I'm so happy with it, it has created the exact effect I wanted.<br />
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If I were to describe the scent it would be this:<br />
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A deep femininity that blossoms in the dark hours, a seasoned maternal energy ribboned with a youthful sparkle. A warm night of laughter in an Eastern land. Looking up at the stars in an exotic garden at midnight. Fairylights streaming across a path lined with flowers. Crystals draped around one's neck, feet bare upon the ripened earth.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image from Tumblr</td></tr>
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To continue my day of Earth Magick, I meditated and gave my thanks and offerings, laid out some crystals and burned some incense. I took out my Native American Tarot (Vision Quest) cards and drew one in honour of my connection with Spirit. I pulled The Shaman card which I later placed under my pillow for me to absorb the energy of it while I slept:<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image from Google search</td></tr>
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This feels like exactly where I should be, crafting with nature and using ancient medicine. Old methods and herb knowledge are coming back to me in full force and although I have a shelf stacked with reference books, it is my intuition that's telling me which flowers, resins, oils and herbs to use for each purpose. And I just feel so blessed to have this gift. Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-40559390146556089592014-07-23T09:29:00.001-07:002014-07-23T09:29:21.441-07:00Return to the WillowYesterday I went to Lush's <a href="https://www.lush.co.uk/article/gorilla-perfume-presents-death-decay-and-renewal" target="_blank">Gorilla Perfume exhibition</a> for the launch of their new perfume collection "Death, Decay and Renewal". I miss working for Lush for the sheer joy of being surrounded by beautiful aroma all day long, and walking through the cleverly interactive and inspring gallery, propelled my love for bespoke perfume. I managed to get just a couple of pictures of the exhibition before leaving, smelling of "Death and Decay" and "Staying Alive" as I went - two incredible fragrances I will definitely buy when they are released.<br />
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This is something I've been delving into again over the past few months after reading the novel, "Perfume: The Story of a Murderer" by <span>Patrick Süskind (which is now one of my most favourite books ever</span>) and finding <a href="http://www.theperfumemistress.com/" target="_blank">Tanya Moulding</a>, a tradtional perfume maker who creates artisan fragrances using natural oils. This has all led me to creating my own perfumes. I am currently working on a scent for my sister, based on her personality, her aura and essence and what she represents to me. I will create portrait scents for people I know and also fragrances that conjur up images, thoughts, music and colours in relation to the blend of flowers, plants, herbs and many other beautiful and natural smells - something that Mark Constantine, creator of Lush and artisan perfumer establishes with his blends.<br />
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Throughout my life I have been learning properties of herbs, oils and flowers and working with them on an emotional and soul level, it is simple, beautiful fragrances lift the spirits and for me, they have sparked story ideas and have helped me to pursue other artistic projects. Overtime I have come to figure out that I have a mild case of Synaesthesia (a condition some people have when one sense merges with others), I see the days of the week and numbers in colours and each colour has a taste and a scene. I get images of landscapes and music through smell and I can describe a person through colour, sound and taste too. I've started using this to my advantage in my writing, in the ways that I am inspired to create characters and set mood and tone.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image from Tumblr</td></tr>
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So in developing this lifelong interest in natural aroma, I am exploring other crafts and artistic projects that will enable me to connect each sense in order to enhance my well-being. I have experience in making candles for the mind, body and spirit but it won't stop there, I want to be making soaps, perfumes, oils and incense on a regular basis and anything else that will set my Synaesthesia off into creation. Afterall, I am a qualified Herbalist and I need to remind myself of that.<br />
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I have been told by numerous mediums and healers that I have been a Medicine Woman and an Apothecary in previous lifetimes, working with nature is in my cellular core - I have the tools and the know-how so why not fill my life with it? <br />
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While on a trip to Venice recently, I walked into a Bespoke Perfumery and I could barely speak the entire time I was in there out of overwhelming joy. Old apothecary cabinets lined the walls, vials and glass jars were labelled in Victorian print and while looking around me in this dream of a shop, I was also mentally decorating my future Natural Magic workspace, an apothecary of my own full of plants, flowers, jars, oils, vintage perfume bottles and gorgeous dark wood furniture.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image from Google search</td></tr>
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And so, the return to myself has happened, I am not who I was two years ago when I stopped writing this blog but I am again who I always have been. I moved, finished my novel, joined a psychic development circle, found my twin flame and best friend, freed myself mentally, released shackles and cleared all the things that stood in my way and in turn I remembered all the things that kept me going in the first place - my intuition, my creativity, my spirit and the clarity of my senses. This will all lead to the establishment of my writing and my personal pursuits - for if I don't have my imagination or my dreams, I wouldn't know how to fall in love with those moments when I stop and absorb the world. And if one can gather the senses into a theatre production of symphonies, smells, textures, tastes and colours, then there is all the more reason to enjoy what the world gives us to play with.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-75269643767701869822012-10-25T05:48:00.000-07:002012-10-26T03:26:13.825-07:00WhenMy life has become infected with 'whens'. When I get some cash. When I can write. When I get a home. When I get to unpack. When I get all my things back. When I have a bed. When I run my workshops. When I can afford this. When I can do that. When I have the space.When When When. I exist now entirely in a stream of thoughts about an uncertain future. I've been playing the game like a good little girl. I have given 'benefit of the doubt' to all circumstances. I have found at least one positive out of all the negative. I have trusted. I have had faith. I have hoped, oh god I have hoped. And it's all ran out. There are no more answers. All dim flames that were burning through the darkness are being snuffed out one by one. <br />
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I need to smile again. I need to laugh again. I need to be at peace again. I need to sleep soundly again. I need to wake up knowing that I am moving forward.<br />
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Escapism doesn't work anymore. Distraction doesn't help.<br />
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The books are dwindling. Time is no longer on my side. Creativity has put its coat on and walked out the door. Relaxation is obsolete.<br />
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I looked back over a set of tarot cards I've been eyeing up for a while, another when. A small when but still another to add to the pile. I've gone over the images again and again because the artist, Paulina Cassidy inspires me. They make me want to write stories but the words aren't coming out. They'll come back to me perhaps. When.<br />
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Of all the cards, I pulled this one off the page of her website because I thought it was beautiful: <br />
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It means <i>Despair, Loss, Hardship, Survival, Abandonment, Neglected Health, Poverty, Rediscovering Hope.</i><br />
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That sounds about right.<i> </i>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-58895487704711949962012-09-27T11:10:00.000-07:002012-09-27T11:10:42.304-07:00Inspiration Everywhere but Not a Drop of Ink<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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Well, have I said already that I'm not doing much writing? I'm thinking about it all the time. And it must frustrate you to read yet another declaration of literary inability but imagine the frustration I'm feeling all the livelong day - I'm not lacking in ideas, so what's the bloody problem?<br />
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To get to the bottom of this and closer to my workshop facilitation project, I went to my Meditate and Create art class last night. With a few sheets of paper, a box of pastels and the warm and friendly teacher, <a href="http://www.meetup.com/Love-Art-Meditate-and-Create/members/13811290/" target="_blank">Caroline McCready</a> I was led through a series of exercises to work out what my conscious and my subconscious mind are telling me about myself. Quelle surprise, when instructed to draw myself with my left hand (linking in with the subconscious mind) I drew a book.<br />
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I was put in touch with Caroline by a great acquaintance, <a href="http://www.deeapolline.com/" target="_blank">Dee Appolline</a> who is a teacher, healer and now an author on her subjects. With her I discussed what my next steps would be to unblocking these barriers that the powers of my own mind have created. The Gateway Studio, the space in which Caroline runs her workshops is the perfect place for such a thing. It's light, beautifully decorated, cosy and has a kitchenette for tea and biscuits. After having a chat with Caroline, I came to learn that she also started up her art sessions to heal herself as well as give that opportunity to her students. She is also very happy to work with me and rent the space out for writing workshops. So as soon as I get my confidence/finances/living situation in order, I'll be good to go. The practice, the unlocking and the comfort of being in a room with people who have a similar problem with literary expression can begin.<br />
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So far I've got a pilot written up of a 2 hour workshop, but as for my actual writing....well...*cue deflating heart* <br />
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To distract myself from thinking that I'm just wasting my hours away, I've been on the hunt to see what's out there to get me and others alike excited. It's all Book Geekery, wordsmithery and general Literature turn-ons. Incidentally, good book/literatue/writing blogs and websites are hard to find but here's what I did stumble upon:<br />
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<a href="http://whitepaperquotes.tumblr.com/"><b>whitepaperquotes.tumblr.com</b></a><br />
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A blog dedicated to handwritten quotes and excerpts of great writers and great works. The team who run the blog all handwrite these themselves and upload them. This doesn't seem particularly genius and the handwriting just adds to the aesthetics of the blog and give the quotes an extra air of poignancy. What I have liked about this is that one will pop up on my homepage that will be very apt and lovely in that particular moment. One of my favourites is:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQfZ5M6uEknI7WooGoqHnLB61YIMNnhvzTFD8M-4YPhi99dZmoxOPJgvGPyPO1RdyvNKqsFPYJAfxX3VZg0zgQAvAT0Nq69wIkNokU92o_l_G88jDrQj-nxY6mfUt8DZn6v1wLq3ly69rU/s1600/tumblr_mai6faaCuB1qlccb8o1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="78" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQfZ5M6uEknI7WooGoqHnLB61YIMNnhvzTFD8M-4YPhi99dZmoxOPJgvGPyPO1RdyvNKqsFPYJAfxX3VZg0zgQAvAT0Nq69wIkNokU92o_l_G88jDrQj-nxY6mfUt8DZn6v1wLq3ly69rU/s400/tumblr_mai6faaCuB1qlccb8o1_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a> </div>
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<a href="http://www.theliterarygiftcompany.com/" target="_blank">The Literary Gift Company</a></div>
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Now this one really is for the geek in me. It pretty much is what the title suggests, a gift company for all things literary. Stuff like mugs that say "Go away, I'm writing", funky bookends, page print jewellery designs, magnetic fridge poetry, quotable chocolate bars and all sorts of other joys for enthusiastic readers and writers. I don't mind one bit if any of you wants to buy me one or all of these as a present:</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cotton tote bag</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Poem teatowel - Carol Ann Duffy isn't a favourite poet of mine but I like the idea</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Happily Everafter" mug with an excerpt from <i>Much Ado About Nothing</i> - my favourite Shakespeare play</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Letter pressed cookie cutters - ah yeah!</td></tr>
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I've got plenty more ideas if you need some. </div>
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<a href="http://bookmania.tumblr.com/">bookmania.tumblr.com</a></div>
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A cool blog that throws a few things at you that might be of interest book-wise. There is an archive of beautiful libraries from around the world, excerpts and recommendations of awesome bookshops.</div>
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This blog told me about this cool market happening every Sunday in my own city:</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Goldsmith's Row Book Market</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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From what I understand, this market is fairly new. In east London, a book market has emerged full of Penguin titles and other leading publisher's bests in new, second hand and rare edition. I'm looking forward to checking it out.<br />
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<a href="http://dictionaryofobscuresorrows.tumblr.com/">dictionaryofobscuresorrows.tumblr.com</a><br />
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This blog is brilliant and is a total delight to read. It's a unique dictionary of 100% original words that this blogger has created himself that define relatable and rather acutely observed emotions . It's genius and his writing is brilliant. Here's a few of my favourites:<br />
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heartworm </div>
<i>n</i>. a relationship or friendship that you can’t get out of
your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow
alive and unfinished, like an abandoned campsite whose smoldering embers
still have the power to start a forest fire.<br />
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moledro </div>
<em>n</em>. a feeling of resonant connection with an author or
artist you’ll never meet, who may have lived centuries ago and thousands
of miles away but can still get inside your head and leave behind
morsels of their experience, like the little piles of stones left by
hikers that mark a hidden path through unfamiliar territory.<br />
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gnasche </div>
<i>n.</i> the intense desire to bite deeply into the forearm of someone you love.<br />
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degrassé </div>
<em>adj.</em> entranced and unsettled by the vastness of the
universe, experienced in a jolt of recognition that the night sky is not
just a wallpaper but a deeply foreign ocean whose currents are steadily
carrying off all other castaways, who share our predicament but are
already well out of earshot—worlds and stars who would’ve been lost
entirely except for the scrap of light they were able to fling out into
the dark, a message in a bottle that’s only just now washing up in the
Earth’s atmosphere, an invitation to a party that already ended a
million years ago.<br />
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Well, I'm certainly delighted with the visual and mental stimulation that the web has to offer, but there is also the sweet bliss of losing myself in a novel - I'm still thoroughly enjoying <i>The Night Circus </i>by Erin Morgenstern but right now I've got a brain overload so I'm off to not write some more.<br />
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<br />Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-28028169470407153562012-09-21T08:20:00.004-07:002012-09-21T08:25:49.237-07:00September Has Been...A real strange one. Full of ups and downs. Jam packed even. This time last year I was on the Navajo reservation in Arizona and what an amazing time that was. If I could wind the clock back for just a moment so I could feel what I was feeling then, I'd be recharged with zest and wonder. I can't believe it's been a year since I took off around the world; the sheer excitement and freedom I experienced will always remain a top memory. It'll be nearly a year since I found Lo in Bali and a year later, I'm wondering where I'm at now.<br />
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Writing has been tough and I feel masses amounts of guilt for not setting aside time to do it. I know why I have these blocks now and the Universe is waiting for me to get on with it. I've been comforted by the confirmation that it is innate in me, it is in my core, so deep to a cellular level that my life's work will revolve around writing. Smaller projects have been put on pause (especially Write Club) but when I don't manage to write, I read a lot. And as long as I'm doing one or the other, I'm still involved with my world. This month I've been reading:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_KOj_0tJHTKQ6WO2i9n1-Mejn1VHaUbSE-8aO2-cz4OXAz06Aj2ZwDe-wRjStegf3bUDo_0JcJGjaiQuuDItcaxwOPbqQnt7AjFhuvaCVXMcwzfBH134qPNNoTTwKlhS1eqH_ZlY5LGRf/s1600/Night-Circus-UK-cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_KOj_0tJHTKQ6WO2i9n1-Mejn1VHaUbSE-8aO2-cz4OXAz06Aj2ZwDe-wRjStegf3bUDo_0JcJGjaiQuuDItcaxwOPbqQnt7AjFhuvaCVXMcwzfBH134qPNNoTTwKlhS1eqH_ZlY5LGRf/s200/Night-Circus-UK-cover.jpg" width="125" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh161sJP6Tw_f-3e6C8eV_AqB6DoU3k7Hw6CD4b9YGtEA65DtVwX97o3jaUWey1lYHXSP9WVmaixBK3vbsYXvJS1eZk9ntzNLkY7RBD2IqP1hCKXWhrQ1aTomf11HpBn8rmnBODVV-8514b/s1600/book-100-years.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh161sJP6Tw_f-3e6C8eV_AqB6DoU3k7Hw6CD4b9YGtEA65DtVwX97o3jaUWey1lYHXSP9WVmaixBK3vbsYXvJS1eZk9ntzNLkY7RBD2IqP1hCKXWhrQ1aTomf11HpBn8rmnBODVV-8514b/s200/book-100-years.jpg" width="149" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3w7hP4xPi0yuthD94hwrCEJ58CO81eAtmu5N91bNSas0GS4imhtNS5054bFxO-i1k5ENj6FvLompeMbxCHRO_lhV5TvRG9YAZhok6KS_24zTCM5LXjo9VxHj3bGhX8-AFhChAFEFltvoc/s1600/gatsby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-mmqCYtzcZEQINmdcnX1qLfjYNwdJaZMT56dhYyuwJxORXU4Du-n_T1C2osqpZq7x14hoDZwmJxa_tSYhGSnJNDH0m-NU-T6vVbeFyk7dp7LDAdL3tTF1xchRBAGdLyuIvYmwLdWe63RU/s1600/waiting+for+autumn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-mmqCYtzcZEQINmdcnX1qLfjYNwdJaZMT56dhYyuwJxORXU4Du-n_T1C2osqpZq7x14hoDZwmJxa_tSYhGSnJNDH0m-NU-T6vVbeFyk7dp7LDAdL3tTF1xchRBAGdLyuIvYmwLdWe63RU/s200/waiting+for+autumn.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="142" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3w7hP4xPi0yuthD94hwrCEJ58CO81eAtmu5N91bNSas0GS4imhtNS5054bFxO-i1k5ENj6FvLompeMbxCHRO_lhV5TvRG9YAZhok6KS_24zTCM5LXjo9VxHj3bGhX8-AFhChAFEFltvoc/s1600/gatsby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3w7hP4xPi0yuthD94hwrCEJ58CO81eAtmu5N91bNSas0GS4imhtNS5054bFxO-i1k5ENj6FvLompeMbxCHRO_lhV5TvRG9YAZhok6KS_24zTCM5LXjo9VxHj3bGhX8-AFhChAFEFltvoc/s200/gatsby.jpg" width="130" /></a></div>
<i> </i><br />
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<i>100 Years of Solitude</i> - Gabriel Garcia-Marquez (still chugging through it; it's my literary Everest for the moment)<br />
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<i>The Story of O</i> - Pauline Reage (not pictured, but there's no real need, it's a plain black cover; bit of a "meh" sort of book. Glad to have read it though)<br />
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<i>Waiting for Autumn</i> - Scott Blum (a Spiritual Quest must read)<br />
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<i>The Great Gatsby</i> - F. Scott Fitzgerald (a classic I should have read a very long time ago - I loved it)<br />
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<i>The Night Circus</i> - Erin Morgenstern (a quarter in and I'm dazzled, it's so beautifully imaginative)<br />
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Waiting in the queue I've got <i>The Snow Child</i>- Eowyn Ivey and <i>1Q84</i> - Haruki Marukami.<br />
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And so I've have been constantly inspired and I'm narrating mentally all the time (as per usual) but to get things shifted, I am planning to run a few workshops where I will go on this journey with other people. Let's write, inspire each other, figure out what our own blocks and hang-ups are and progress together!<br />
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I'm working on some class ideas, excercises and tools to bring into my 'no rules, no boundaries' writing sessions. When I'm ready to go, with a venue in place, I will post up a blog/meetup/facebook page etc<br />
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It's also about bloody time that I started offering therapy services. Again, once a venue is in place (i.e a home) I will be setting up a practice so if anyone is interested in Angelic Reiki, Colour Therapy or Aromatherapy Massage then please let me know...<br />
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...no point me having all these skills and qualifications if I can't use them, eh?<br />
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As a sidebar, I've attended a couple of classes/workshops and still have a few more to go. I went to my ballet taster class and I bloomin' well loved it. It was everything I hoped it would be and what's more, the pain in my feet gave way to the joy of dancing. I was totally fine, even when I was made to skip and trot across the studio. My legs felt alive and it almost felt like they thanked me for waking them up. I got the blood pumping through them and I was incredibly energised. Unfortunately though, the pain in them has been terrible ever since, resulting in me wearing herbal medicine bandages that I was recommended at a Chinese herbal shop. I'm now on the lookout for a foot specialist and shall continue my ongoing saga of healing the nerve damage in my soles. It's certainly not going to stop me from signing up to the full 8 week ballet course beginning in October though.<br />
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I've got a Tree Wisdom distance course set up for this weekend and a Healing Art class on Wednesday to keep me going...it's themed around the Root Chakra which is precisely the Chakra I'm working on right now. Starting with some crystal healing, I bought a beautiful piece of Garnet and Fire Agate to keep in my pocket.<br />
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I've also been reflecting and drawing cards to make some sense of everything that's been happening. The most resonant cards I drew this week are:<br />
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<i>The Shark</i> card from <i>Messages from your Animal Spirit Guides</i> deck</div>
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And from the <i>Ascended Masters Oracle</i> deck:</div>
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Key points being: Take action, take leadership, harness your power, now's the time to make a move, target your heart's desire, shake off your fear, stop waiting around, write, teach, take charge.<br />
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I think that certainly makes it all clear...Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-35261394294498614612012-08-26T14:20:00.000-07:002012-08-26T14:27:07.046-07:00Alone With Somebody Else<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">'pensive' from We Heart It</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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You love your own company and you crave to be by yourself quite frequently, but all those other times when you wanted to be with someone, you created little moments with them because you felt the need to make those small but sweet memories, something to use your nostalgia on.You somehow knew on some level that they wouldn't always be there and when they weren't you sat there looking at the wall, at your feet, at your whole life.<br />
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Sometimes, you can have that friend that tends to feel very much the same, practices the same rituals that you do with whom you can just be who you always are to yourself. You're not being negative, you're just being honest and this person won't try to show you the 'bright side'. You know when to cheer up, you know when to come down and it's important to have someone around who can allow you to bounce between the two when you want. The both of you may be in completely different circumstances but you've been in the same spot before and there's nothing more to say about it. You might be lucky to get a tear, a sigh, a giggle and some insight all in the same sitting.<br />
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But you can take those small but sweet memories and change them into something new, recreate them to give them new meaning: sharing a favourite programme, getting each other cupcakes, walking hours away around the streets of London and sitting on a curb or a set of steps to pause again and let each other look into the distance. You may have been in that very same place before with all those people you miss, but now you're there with someone who you won't have to. <br />
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And when that friend isn't around and you're all by yourself again, you can turn to those other things that also allow you to feel what you want.<br />
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Your favourite music will soften you in the darkness and some great words on a page might give it all some sense when you're ready to reach for the light.<br />
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<br />Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-90483211750761845762012-08-15T04:09:00.000-07:002012-08-15T11:12:52.854-07:00Dance<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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On Friday night, the curtains went up and I was sat in the Colliseum Theatre watching Swan Lake. It was my first time watching the ballet but it felt more like a really hazy distant memory. Like a sap, I welled up within in the first few seconds of it starting. The music, the set, the tutus, the sequences and more than anything, the Snow Queen blew me away.<br />
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It got me thinking about my own dancing hang-ups. I've always loved dancing, I wanted to go to classes when I was little but never had the opportunity. Instead, I would make up my own choreography in my bedroom and dance everyday to my favourite songs. As I got older, I danced less often and well, life got in the way. I stopped excercising altogether until I took up yoga later on, the only other thing that resonated. My body wants to be flexible, graceful and strong in the legs but that all got hindered when I got these nerve problems in my feet, rendering me unable to even walk barefoot around the house.<br />
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For 6 years, they've stopped me from doing what I want to and to avoid stepping on painful flooring, I've forgotten what it's like to feel all that energy in my legs and strength in my movements. After a healing session over a week ago, I was told that it is possible for the nerves to regenerate and with some dedication, my feet can be healed. And so my reaction was to scout for an adult beginners ballet class. I've found just the perfect thing, I've found the perfect shoes and soon I'll take my inner child to a dance class and heal my adult self. My legs seem to know it's coming, they're wanting to stretch and bend more in anticipation.<br />
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About 3 years ago, I wrote a poem about a dream I had, and it feels more close to me now than it did at the time:<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Past Life </span></b></div>
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I twirled and twirled on my toes</div>
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in another time, on another plane.</div>
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That floor was mine upon which </div>
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I could prance and swish, no longer a wish.</div>
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I wore ballerina shoes, soft pink</div>
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and spectators were there I think, watching me</div>
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I could bend and hop, my body was free to feel</div>
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each move, such grace.</div>
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Not sure which country or place but I was there</div>
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and it was me and I was dancing, spinning like so.</div>
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A ballerina I was, a long time ago.</div>
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<br />Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-41047455206626307162012-08-02T08:21:00.000-07:002012-08-02T10:05:02.196-07:00Back in the Saddle<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The longer I leave it, the more I have to say and the more I have to say, the harder it gets to write.<br />
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I haven't been on this blog for nearly two months now and as predicted, London swallowed me up in a whirlwind of activity.<br />
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We began our new venture with the celebration of Summer Solstice in my favourite UK town of Glastonbury...this is a picture I nicked from my friend who managed to capture the Sun coming up at about 4.50am on the 20th June.<br />
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We marvelled, drummed and rambled. There were cows and a Devic tree, a group snooze in the car and a picnic in the fields. Unfortunately, our day was cut short when we got a phonecall from home telling us that my cat, my Rocky boy had gone missing. He must have been shut out while we loaded the car at midnight the previous night. I put posters up and wept and walked around the neighbourhood twice a day calling his name. I couldn't imagine starting my new life with Lo without Rocky in the picture. After four days of heartache and dissapointment whenever the phone didn't ring or a neighbour didn't knock on the door with the cuddly Garfield himself, Loic and I decided to hop on a bus to a friend's house. Upon coming back from the shops to top our Oysters, I heard a desperate meow as we walked past a van. I cried out "Rocky?!" and he came out from under it and ran over to me. The joy of reuniting was immense. I couldn't stop embracing him.<br />
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So it's been very much like this the whole time we've been back: ups and downs.<br />
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We went to see the exhibition about Native Art as promised to my Navajo acquaintance only to find out that he couldn't make it to London due to "passport issues", we went on that Foraging for Herbs walk and that turned out to be just lovely. I collected clippings and took pictures, Natasha, the herbalist taught us how to collect and make a tincture, how to identify Fennel, Lady's Mantle, Lemon Balm and Calendula and how to use them.<br />
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Jobhunting was the next frustration, I managed to get a job in Mysteries, a magical shop in Covent Garden that sells crystals, incense, books and buddhas and does psychic readings; a perfect part-timer for me, but unfortunately Loic wasn't as lucky. After hundreds of applications and near-misses, he didn't land himself anything but a job in France for the whole of August as a campsite co-ordinator in the mountains - we decided that he needed to take the opportunity and so he did. He's gone now, until the beginning of September. And although I've got a lot to be getting on with, half of me is missing.<br />
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But I'm here at my mum's and sometimes at my sister's, still living out of a suitcase. I wonder when this ridiculous cycle will end...a proper bed would be nice, my own things unpacked and put away or hung up on the walls to make me feel like I've got a home. A home for me, a home for Rocky and a home for Loic. I'm manifesting it like a maniac, being patient and stating to the Universe that's what we need. The Universe obviously seems to think that we need to take a detour.<br />
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On the writing front, I've joined Write Club a short story writing excercise club co-ordinated by my fellow writer friend, Joe. Once our stories are up from last week, I'll post up a link to the blog...<br />
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And the other fruits of my literary labours are live and online, the website text I wrote for my favourite restaurant in Bali can now be read here: <a href="http://www.charming-bali.com/" target="_blank">http://www.charming-bali.com/</a><br />
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My dear friend, Cisco created this site with his magical web design powers and gave me the chance to be a part of the project. And if you ever go to Bali, don't leave without eating at CharMing - everything about it is delicious! <br />
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I'm sure I'm forgetting a whole load of things that have gone on in the last 6 or 7 weeks but I'd rather get back to writing about things that matter now or inspire me, so seeing as though this was a quick recap of a blog, the next one I promise will be a little more profound and better written.<br />
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<br />Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-42113527868836025372012-06-13T20:15:00.002-07:002012-06-13T20:16:18.544-07:00A New Chapter and All That....So another ending, another beginning...and I seem to have been riding that cycle quite a bit the last year or two but isn't it exciting when you can change your scene and start fresh?<br />
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This may very well be my last post in Bali, in fact, I'm sure it is as I've still got the last bits of packing to do and more goodbyes to say. As happy as I am to leave, I will always look back on this island as the monumental point in my life where things got shaken up and rearranged, and so rapidly too.<br />
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When I think back, it was only eight months ago (feels like eight years) when I set foot on Indonesian turf and faced some things the Universe clearly wanted me to face: fears, reoccuring patterns, confidence issues, relationship values....you name it. The challenge was on from the minute I left the comforts of the city I know so well and love, the place I was born and the place I lived in as if it were a gate that kept me safe from the big wide world. So Arizona showed me the deeper levels of Spirit and Love, San Francisco gave me the freedom to be who and whatever I wanted, Singapore taught me greater independence and trust in myself, Nepal showed me how to toughen up and be practical and Bali...well Bali put all those things together and offered me a package deal: conquer this and you'll go home a very happy and lucky person. <br />
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Here is where I met Loic and that was the beginning of a very beautiful story which continues to amaze me each day and now he's joining me in the Big Smoke; he'll see the other parts of me, the things that shaped me into the individual that he met sitting at the next table having a coffee. My place, my family, my friends. And yet we'll be sad to say goodbye to the friends we've met here, but just like the nearest and dearest we left in England and France, we know they're here and we'll always know what we shared with them. Facebook, email and Skype help to keep the connections going of course.<br />
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So new jobs, new home, new start and I've found a lovely path in falling in love with a Frenchy, he loves to travel and I love France. And I won't even have to give up my love of travelling and holidays for too long as a trip to Lyon for a wedding is already on this year's calendar. One day I'll live there too and it's funny, I pictured myself there a long time ago...riding a bicycle down cobbled streets, writing in cafes and being inspired by all the art, history and buildings that France has kept so close to its heart...London was never supposed to be it forever. The other great thing is language, Lo gets to perfect his English and I finally have the chance to be fluent in French, something that should have been on my CV for years but with slight negligence on my behalf, I never quite got there...but I will I'm sure of it. <br />
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And I'll keep writing so watch this space...fingers crossed, in a couple of weeks I'll be posting the good news of new jobs for us both and a new flat. I'm giddy at the thought of being able to finally unpack ALL my possessions, including the ones still sitting up in my uncle's attic and put them somewhere I'll call home and that's where they'll stay, until the next chapter of course. <br />
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Goodbye Bali.<br />
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And in the words of Vinnie Jones: "it's been emotional".Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-72781717508992554062012-05-30T21:31:00.000-07:002012-05-30T22:17:41.657-07:00London CallingAnd so the countdown is on...just over two weeks until I'm back on British soil and thankfully, the last couple of weeks have kept me busy enough for it to feel like it's flying by. My friend Hannah and two of her mates came out to Bali for a fortnight and it was really good to visit a few places I hadn't seen yet and to introduce them to the things I'm quite familiar with.One of them being Linga Longa Bar, our favourite hangout spot where Fran took to the stage on more than one occasion to entertain the crowd with her powerful, jazz style voice. We had fun in Ubud and dined around Sanur, not forgetting a few games of pool at the scuzzy but fun Angel bar; the only place in Bali where I get to hear my favourite tunes...Hendrix, Clapton, Zeppelin, Red Hot Chilli Peppers and even Queens of the Stone Age are always on the playlist. For those of you who aren't on Facebook, here's a few pics I nicked from the girls:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk_EQOOYN6gxblhRnB6YAPf7yhcSe2F1Ec7REKWN9k94gj_DrCifz1QIbaBACxvUu_ZGBDDRH0PkzP3-qsa0ZGAFwuAMwIixccByeXOOIoFeI8vkVgcGXvfNyzqgd0VTruIphkDILUe3pF/s1600/543489_10151762424080015_759084562_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk_EQOOYN6gxblhRnB6YAPf7yhcSe2F1Ec7REKWN9k94gj_DrCifz1QIbaBACxvUu_ZGBDDRH0PkzP3-qsa0ZGAFwuAMwIixccByeXOOIoFeI8vkVgcGXvfNyzqgd0VTruIphkDILUe3pF/s320/543489_10151762424080015_759084562_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Woody, Fran, Hannah & me in temple attire</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1LIQjp3cpPE85riYbvJNoIXv3Gq06iYNv396lU9kUnA6X6F6sBzbaXsO5F4jtsxrLhqClJHVutF6sWOps4UAmPgLTOdBaVR0vIOy7rJaYpPhBuNo5a-JcA3APu_8TWL6TGGqkRFVIEikO/s1600/292249_10151762432345015_516145014_24313726_474209956_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1LIQjp3cpPE85riYbvJNoIXv3Gq06iYNv396lU9kUnA6X6F6sBzbaXsO5F4jtsxrLhqClJHVutF6sWOps4UAmPgLTOdBaVR0vIOy7rJaYpPhBuNo5a-JcA3APu_8TWL6TGGqkRFVIEikO/s320/292249_10151762432345015_516145014_24313726_474209956_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lo and I chillin in the water</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfP8HoBYEcOA2Yw3oDMypKAIjn7pDDyw6odQPaY4ttp3M2Ct9xpCvwlFuUHajWtOEEcCe4Lw9H-179sNk-pSseH163bh_kCXerpMj6ftpcilLddzi7TSfQMw6HgE-kkf3DPkKEz6s8qv5w/s1600/36520_10151762418200015_1888211185_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfP8HoBYEcOA2Yw3oDMypKAIjn7pDDyw6odQPaY4ttp3M2Ct9xpCvwlFuUHajWtOEEcCe4Lw9H-179sNk-pSseH163bh_kCXerpMj6ftpcilLddzi7TSfQMw6HgE-kkf3DPkKEz6s8qv5w/s320/36520_10151762418200015_1888211185_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me feeding fishies at Tirtagangga palace</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBUv8HjhaFiljR8eeXlwTEC31uryfWJCjMNkUMKUusZduy-B8q9Kr8xStDk79-mCZJGEAstfGHCB3qviHVBxthj9BzjSmSG2b6N19TQ6aIhu1ZQO0SznDNcBaHiGZ9CEttY4g9JkPuhEzX/s1600/295044_10150972918125751_753770750_12292475_1757413564_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBUv8HjhaFiljR8eeXlwTEC31uryfWJCjMNkUMKUusZduy-B8q9Kr8xStDk79-mCZJGEAstfGHCB3qviHVBxthj9BzjSmSG2b6N19TQ6aIhu1ZQO0SznDNcBaHiGZ9CEttY4g9JkPuhEzX/s320/295044_10150972918125751_753770750_12292475_1757413564_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lo putting us to shame at Angel bar</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdxCeHpy-a-XjZgwDWUCIHld4cEeF1WlmDF7dy_hu1ADnqko5C0LO984HCQTSGBdir7drwz2lXbFFExEARVwu-yQwN10BvOShOTUuG29qsRgMtkx4AwPBIvto1qfeBYEP7qECLjhBGeuMM/s1600/532878_10150972917475751_753770750_12292474_2104917099_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdxCeHpy-a-XjZgwDWUCIHld4cEeF1WlmDF7dy_hu1ADnqko5C0LO984HCQTSGBdir7drwz2lXbFFExEARVwu-yQwN10BvOShOTUuG29qsRgMtkx4AwPBIvto1qfeBYEP7qECLjhBGeuMM/s320/532878_10150972917475751_753770750_12292474_2104917099_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and Hansy</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUoNbPHnhfkH2jgWIEu5ajGLVz8_Q40huhexsgNfW4SD3yKtg9whxeGu5qO1V7arHTuLZ2WgZ_6DRWcHX6n3iCr6ijiK1adDCJStefnVKgzTuq1eBT0ZtrUdpksYobIVKMCOiB2TTikfIK/s1600/582538_10150972813825751_753770750_12291842_1701917589_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUoNbPHnhfkH2jgWIEu5ajGLVz8_Q40huhexsgNfW4SD3yKtg9whxeGu5qO1V7arHTuLZ2WgZ_6DRWcHX6n3iCr6ijiK1adDCJStefnVKgzTuq1eBT0ZtrUdpksYobIVKMCOiB2TTikfIK/s320/582538_10150972813825751_753770750_12291842_1701917589_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dinner in Ubud</td></tr>
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So it's been all fun and games but the end is nigh and I've got to get my head down and finish up some work before we cross waters. I'll miss Bali for friends and certain places of course, but UK is a calling and with a few exciting things lined up for when Lo and I get there, I'm raring to go...here's what we've got booked so far:<br />
<br />
* Spending Summer Solstice in Glastonbury - my favourite town in all of England! There'll be drumming, meditating, tree-hugging, love-spreading, rejoicing, garland-wearing and lots of other cool happy hippy stuff.<br />
<br />
*Going on a 'Foraging for Herbs' walk - in July we're going on a jaunt around Regent's Park, led by a Herbalist and natural remedies expert who will show us how to, well, forage for herbs in London and will show us how to use these wondeful plants in cooking, cosmetics and healing...the nature geek in me squeals.<br />
<br />
*Seeing <i>Swan Lake</i> at the Coliseum - tickets are booked for The English National Ballet production this August! It will be my first live ballet and I'm giddy at the thought...I know I'm gonna love it.<br />
<br />
*Going to the <i>Contemporary American Indian Art Exhibition</i> at <a href="http://www.hlsi.net/gallery_level3.aspx?level3_ID=1036" target="_blank">Highgate Gallery</a> - I made friends with a Navajo artist called Troy Whitethorne when I was in Arizona and when he said he was having an exhibition in London, I promised him I'd go and see it. It's on from 8th-21st June so I'll be landing just in the nick of time. I'll be tired, I'll be jetlagged and crazy busy but a promise is a promise and I'm all about supporting what has become a very precious culture to me.<br />
<br />
Aside from these exciting dates in the calendar, not only will I be loving the reunion of me and my city (and hugging and kissing the life out of my friends and family) but I also get to take Loic around as it's been roughly 10 years since he's been to London...the best way to get into the city again is to be a tour guide for someone else so there will be many an outing to museums, galleries, coffee shops, gigs, pubs, parks, theatres etc. There'll also be much gorging on cake, pastries, cheese, wine and all the food that Indonesia isn't really best at...ditching the motorbike for our good old reliable legs again is going to be much needed.<br />
<br />
There are so many things that we've missed about Europe that I'm quite sure that we won't be bored for quite some time...but for now, let's enjoy what the rest of this island has to offer before we wave it goodbye.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-39405906649842374952012-05-19T01:48:00.002-07:002012-05-19T01:54:35.188-07:00ExcerptHere's a piece from my unfinished collection that I've been working on, just to give you a taste; I've decided that there'll be prose in there as well as poems. This particular one doesn't have a title yet:<br />
<br />
We walk into the bedroom in the dark and you stand amongst my wreck.
Black hiding an undressed life and you wander into it as if you have
seen it before, even though you don’t see it now, my gallery of posed
questions and the paper meals that feed my hunger for answers. You make the
room jump when you walk past the mirror. A quick stream of colour
flashes back recognition of you more than it does me. And yet I still
don’t reach for the light as you carry on going; maybe I’m waiting for you
to intuite some more, perhaps show me what I’ve never been able to see.<br />
<br />
Our conversation from back there out in the world didn’t follow us in and
I’m not sure what to do with the silence. Perhaps it is better to
contain it here in the dark; no makeshift words to construct in a space
that is already too full. No prompted reactions expected, no
critique or applause to await. In this obsidian box I could paint
whatever you want, some stars perhaps? Or do you prefer just a navy sky
and a clear prominent moon?<br />
<br />
I hear you turn on your heel and this actress isn’t yet ready for the
lights. She hasn’t rehearsed enough; she might wither before an eager
face. I know you were pleased by what you saw at the preview, back there
out in the world. I recognise the same smile that freed itself from your
lips when I looked up from my glass. Only this time it is decorated with
midnight and it looks ever the more beautiful.<br />
<br />
Now that you don’t see me, what do you see? See with your heart, feel
with your eyes. Peer into me while I’m in nothingness, because you have
no present comparison for beauty.<br />
<br />
I take one step and pause before the next, one foot teetering behind
the other like my thoughts do; carefully laying themselves down. I’m
nearly ready to expose you to it all, from young womanhood to present
day; storyboards that don’t have endings, shards from dropped feelings
never cleaned up. I’m close now because I sense you by your warmth and
it changes the air between us.<br />
<br />
And before I can tape together the words that would fit right here in
this space, you find the switch because those lips that part ways for
flattering smiles kiss mine suddenly in the light.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-5442368188893370782012-05-15T06:19:00.001-07:002012-05-30T21:56:26.913-07:00In the Shadows<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Every now and then I rediscover an appreciation for an art and then like a maniac I indulge in it for a condensed period of time and long to be able to create the same, but of course I can't do everything! I do however need to be constantly inspired seeing as though what I do involves a lot of imagination. I am incredibly visual and things not only stick better in my mind if I see them, but also I write from my photographic memory and it's the little details in each image that spur on a brand new idea.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKAO25XcEdnSGeTh_VohhxArfZCzjH6oDJARmyVpJYw9MEYuaIgFV61LX55nEOG05IWt3zVi3zhY7XMSino1H0AndaIwybMq2a-7Fv1MvOvThZJ9wwGLwWm2V8dwuqtNxp0SqNPaj5pqJE/s1600/shadow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKAO25XcEdnSGeTh_VohhxArfZCzjH6oDJARmyVpJYw9MEYuaIgFV61LX55nEOG05IWt3zVi3zhY7XMSino1H0AndaIwybMq2a-7Fv1MvOvThZJ9wwGLwWm2V8dwuqtNxp0SqNPaj5pqJE/s200/shadow.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image from We Heart it</td></tr>
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I once read in a very helpful book that when we write, we must write with our most honest voice and explore our 'shadow selves', the darker parts of ourselves. It is important to question and pick through what it is that makes us, us. Things have much bigger impact if they are somewhat curious or bizarre and for myself in particular, I admire things that are beautifully tragic, or tragically beautiful, however you wish to see it. <br />
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I've done a lot of this 'shadow self' thinking and I've often discussed with friends how we sometimes love to feel odd, different, a little dark (in a Tim Burton way) and sometimes even melancholic. I'm a sucker for putting on a sad song if I already feel sad, I'll wallow I admit - but how else can I describe that emotion if I don't explore it and really feel it?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="284" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmQFl22X3pKEEt10G59Qu0E3apOC-CUnKFspmpI5-56CWk48JeZmz5Oq9vqmAVG1GQFhPD4ArM34-fh_wC5hf5FjtYRgR-vMLwWTXpSYa_rJa5XOKe9IMCHul8mTc2pbKyxRKnTjBhLBdX/s320/sleepy+hollow.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image from the movie Sleepy Hollow</td></tr>
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But more to the point, dark things can be poetic and beautiful or at least on the surface, visually stimuating. I pick myself apart a lot, especially in this blog, if you hadn't noticed already! <br />
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I'm working on a collection of poems at the moment (amongst a tirade of other projects) and I promised myself I would write it with that voice, delivering the dark and the beautiful that rise up within like a serpent in those silent moments. Each poem will be set in 'darkness' or night time to be more accurate, with all its unsettling connotations as well as its magical ones. <br />
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My favourite show as a little girl wasn't <i>My Little Pony</i> but <i>Knightmare</i> and my favourite Roald Dahl story was <i>The Witches</i>. My favourite movies were films like <i>Beetlejuice</i>, <i>Edward Scissorhands</i> and <i>The Lost Boys</i> and at five years old my ears pricked up the first time I heard the song "Poison" by Alice Cooper. But of course, I don't just have a gothic's heart and managed to come into adulthood quite tame despite my querky interests as a child. I complimented them with the fluffier things in life like <i>Disney</i>, <i>Sylvanian Families</i> and Motown music (the rocker in me won the battle in the end) - the 'light' side of ourselves is just as important. </div>
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So to make this blend work in a creative way, I sift through art until it strikes that chord and I think 'that's my style'...this week, two things have popped up: shadow theatre and ballet. I love shadow theatre and it's an art that I didn't really take heed of until I came across an amazing performance in Exeter. It was winter and it was late at night and on the side of the old town church, a dark fable was shown from a projector, the giant shadows twisted and danced upon this perfectly chosen building and I was enamoured. I unfortunately didn't get the name of that performance or the company that displayed it but I did find this shadow animation on YouTube which gives you the idea of shadow theatre if you've never paid attention to this sort of thing before. It's pretty and enchanting and I admire just how much work and creativity has to go into something like this.</div>
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The second thing that had me "ooh" and "ahhh" was Angelin Preljocaj's ballet interpretation of <i>Snow White</i> which showed last week at Saddler's Well Theatre in London. This darker, sexier version is something I really want to see and could be inspiring on so many levels. I'm absolutely gutted that I wasn't home to see it but I'm hoping it'll come back sometime in the not so distant future.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0RxVW3UjL9OnAzKBh8BZuiF0m_1Leu_GpnQT-a9J-tVkbZKabcpwFGxIYrYIe-kcJlfVdz0x1R0-yv8fUaC1NRS7-8M_dvmoRN1h0DDa0SB9CKOYoCEb6HPvJwdwMOoVjfJC2uFeD7Q57/s1600/snowwhite_sadlerswells.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="171" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0RxVW3UjL9OnAzKBh8BZuiF0m_1Leu_GpnQT-a9J-tVkbZKabcpwFGxIYrYIe-kcJlfVdz0x1R0-yv8fUaC1NRS7-8M_dvmoRN1h0DDa0SB9CKOYoCEb6HPvJwdwMOoVjfJC2uFeD7Q57/s320/snowwhite_sadlerswells.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Snow White Ballet Performance</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: small;">“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious</span>.”
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―
Carl Jung
</div>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-52709819890624473902012-05-03T21:27:00.000-07:002012-05-03T21:30:59.185-07:00Time For a Little Poem...It's been a while since I've written a poem here and this morning this one fell out of my mouth, my head and my heart and I quickly laid it down on paper before the words had a chance to shatter on the floor and I'd have to sweep them away.<br />
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So forgive me, it hasn't been edited...this is purely spontaneous.<br />
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<b>Indonesia</b><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Dusted it off and blew on it twice</div>
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A wish escaped along with the breath</div>
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And travelled over battered walls</div>
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And banyan trees</div>
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Exhaust smoke and children’s pleas</div>
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To skip the begging and play </div>
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It avoids the Sun’s fury all day</div>
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Dances past judgment and</div>
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Still on the breeze</div>
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Through cracks in the temples</div>
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Tried to get down on my knees</div>
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But couldn’t feel the buzz only the numb</div>
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Really straining to hear that hum</div>
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Those whispers that shake the leaves</div>
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One taps me on the head and I feel chosen</div>
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<br /></div>
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Nature’s gentle nudge</div>
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But that wish gets snagged and doesn’t budge</div>
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For a while until it’s forced</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To take another course where spiders creep</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Between flowers winged creatures peep</div>
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Both kindred and enemy they feast on the skin</div>
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Bang at the door</div>
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Can’t take refuge curled up on the floor</div>
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They will get you there too until the noise stops</div>
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<br /></div>
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And I’ve got my eyes on that moonlight</div>
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Its brilliant glow</div>
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The way it kisses the ocean the way it hangs low</div>
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Somewhere in that forgotten and unknown</div>
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It’s casting light on a king made of stone</div>
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A kris in his hand and menace on his face</div>
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Giving the impression that gold means grace</div>
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He sits higher than me and I’m meant to feel his power</div>
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I’ve never counted so much in my life</div>
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Hour by hour </div>
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Sunrise to sunset I've left little hearts in the places we met</div>
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For all of you by the sea and under the stars</div>
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Music and love faded the scars</div>
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That wish is still on its way up to Father Sky</div>
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Still battling exhaust smoke and avoiding those pleas</div>
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Indonesia you’ve helped me see</div>
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Helped me see</div>
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<br /></div>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-69391563218268058482012-04-27T23:23:00.003-07:002012-04-28T00:43:07.403-07:00MedicineAside from celebrating my birthday this week, I have also been exposed to some very beautiful music, exhanged truths with some amazing people and have been challenged by the Universe to hold my integrity, to stay strong and push through with my beliefs.<br />
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On Saturday night at Antida, Lo and I were blown away by an artist called Nahko Bear and his band Medicine for the People. I haven't been moved like that by a band in years. Their sound and more importantly, their message resonated with every fibre in my being; reverberating after a warm tap on my inner core. And on Wednesday we went to watch Nahko play a solo set after which we had the privilege of chatting with him. Part Native American, Puerto-Rican and Filipino, Nahko now lives in Hawaii and is one of the most interesting artists I have ever come across. His lyrics speak for what I sometimes struggle to say verbally or through my writing...but I don't think I could put it better than this:<br />
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I often need a dose of this medicine when someone has knocked me down or when I've been placed in a situation where I lose the belief in myself. Music, meditation or healing conversations brings me back home and connect me back to myself and then I feel charged with the courage and the light needed to go on. Not being able to easily access my closest kindreds, the ones who know exactly who I am, and without the ability to have a cuddle with the animal of my heart, Rocky or sit somewhere peaceful to just be, I've needed that reassurance more than ever in Bali. And without the music of Nahko and the incredible spiritual and intellectual exchange with someone who has become a very dear friend or without the love and support of Lo and the wonderful connection we share, I may have easily crumbled.<br />
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My voice is drowning a little where it needs to be heard the most; I need to figure out how to keep it afloat.<br />
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This morning I drew this card from my Native American Vision Quest Tarot set:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0GY6V8EGzdOIRhhO9M3_niQw7bLjQa1ey0rOforY-4lSxugPoE7oKd9r95Vmp6Yon3032ioASdV7TbTlkHwO1dtFX3BebRBFX2Y_v7v9Ibhc1f43k7Z8wv3fMO4-r0b_WddckJBQlnIuB/s1600/VQT-QS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0GY6V8EGzdOIRhhO9M3_niQw7bLjQa1ey0rOforY-4lSxugPoE7oKd9r95Vmp6Yon3032ioASdV7TbTlkHwO1dtFX3BebRBFX2Y_v7v9Ibhc1f43k7Z8wv3fMO4-r0b_WddckJBQlnIuB/s320/VQT-QS.jpg" width="187" /></a></div>
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Self Awerness - intelligence - inspiration - self-respect - confidence - inner strength - clarity - creativity - courage</div>
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<i>"This image depicts your strength to be who you truly are. Not who you are supposed to be, should have been or what others make you become. Your self-confidence has been awakened. With it awakens the courage to drop your masks once and for all. This is the only way to return to your own inner centre" </i><br />
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My self-confidence certainly gets tested and I can only shine the light of my true self to those who are open to seeing it. I do not know where this true me - this spiritual, tribal, diminish-all-fear and remove-all-negative-people-from-my-life ME will take me, but I have to see.<br />
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I have just entered my next seven-year cycle by turning 28, great change is on the horizon.<br />
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And all I can do for now is agree with this song and say to myself: "I believe in the good things coming". <br />
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<br />Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-29700201899100349492012-04-20T01:26:00.011-07:002012-04-20T03:31:35.391-07:00To be Literally Literary<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsxqhP4pIH8RKFDOCEluaV9wso-Bmgd6tYSnxj9GqMFZ_Pli9aa4nqPufXYHSOwqtuJqIqapQ9riX0OKFvF79qS_uzmKU9er45f-HsEUxrVsIw-E4NfSVRKO4_7ryJsvakPpLHvhU-jCRf/s1600/Alice+in+wonderland.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsxqhP4pIH8RKFDOCEluaV9wso-Bmgd6tYSnxj9GqMFZ_Pli9aa4nqPufXYHSOwqtuJqIqapQ9riX0OKFvF79qS_uzmKU9er45f-HsEUxrVsIw-E4NfSVRKO4_7ryJsvakPpLHvhU-jCRf/s320/Alice+in+wonderland.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5733399569929311730" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >I exist in many worlds, in my head and in person. I am of one that craves to stamp words on air or on paper </span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >to make reality out of feeling; I am a writer</span><span style="font-family: georgia;">.</span> I am also one of nostalgia, I constantly seek it as an emotion to remind me of who I am, where I have been, what I was. I am also one of dreams, the relentless movie creating of a hopeful and colourful future; I thrive on future goals and projects to fuel my fire. I am also of one that in fact, denies convention as a life map and instead I embrace the magical, the unknown and the 'other-worldy' and consider it all far more possible than what appears before my very own eyes.<br /><br />I love words. One of my favourites is 'whimsical':<br /><br /><h3 class="r g0"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="padding-bottom: 14px; padding-right: 15px;"><em>whim·si·cal</em></span>Adjective:</span></h3><ol style="padding-left:19px"><li style="list-style-type:decimal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Playfully quaint or fanciful, esp. in an appealing and amusing way.</span></li><li style="list-style-type: decimal;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Acting or behaving in a capricious manner.</span></li></ol><p>I am incredibly fanciful and I highly enjoy being so. I have the world perception of a hippy. I have the heart of a healer but guard it with the shield of a knight. I am Earthy and love to craft with my hands...I'm not afraid to graft. All of this makes me happy, but it confuses me too; the need to be all of this and the need to make a living can often repel each other - but not always. I know plenty of like-minded souls who exist through their creativity, it buys them their home and their holidays away.<br /><br />My thought processes are spatial, not linear and so you see, it becomes a bit of a problem when I need to write in lines (how else?).<br /><br />I wrote this a few months ago and it stills stands as my ultimate yearn in life: </p><div class="data lP"><br /><div class="body hasMarkup" style="font-family:courier new;"><p><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">A Plea to My Dormant Self</span><br /></span></p> <p><span style="font-size:100%;">I spit my soundless words up at the sky in the hope that clouds will catch them and rain them back down on me, awakening my skin with cold breath.</span></p> </div> </div><br />A fellow friend and writer put it up on her fridge and that's the best response I could ever have hoped to get.<br /><br />But if only I could wear my words like a ball gown; it would be opulent and dazzling, one with delicate detail and layers that descend the stairs before I do. I'd wear it everyday. It would become me and I it, it would be what I have to show the world.<br /><br />And so, in my desire to live this world that combines my need for words, for spirituality, for knowledge, for craft, for dreams I've been brainstorming projects and have landed two solid ideas to make my future a rewarded existence. Solid ideas but not solid in practice...but soon to be revealed. And for now, I've been granted the chance here in Bali to put my words to good use: by translating French text and rewriting in English for one person and afterschool tutoring English for the eight-year old son of a friend. That's plenty to be getting on with for now, but it's not quite enough for this fanciful, dancing-in-the-forest dreamer.<br /><br />I had a hypnotherapy session recently...I wanted to know what my blocks were, what fears I had lurking in dark corners of this forest dreamland that is my mind...what's stopping me from writing fervently, incessantly and throwing it out there like a frisbee for some editor, publisher or agent to catch. I regressed to a past life and worked through the lessons of that brutal Medieval time and was encouraged by the hypnotherapist to heal the root cause. But now I'm bursting at the seams with narrative and there isn't enough time or an adequate tool to manifest it with.<br /><br />Funny how I was also recommended this novel by the same friend who put my words on her fridge:<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVJVTXDmAgQ4rZbjRL1W78RspsbTVPSJda1nYPzEXUE-0F5gTnIFkAkJ4H8wrKHR0jhFGZ-A3OwD43iLesacJ_NYVXRUHlbqGe1RKJH8yssdAzqq0uH3PqO2IAwGnpHB_olhsgHf4PRo5y/s1600/the-gargoyle-by-andrew-davidson.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 210px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVJVTXDmAgQ4rZbjRL1W78RspsbTVPSJda1nYPzEXUE-0F5gTnIFkAkJ4H8wrKHR0jhFGZ-A3OwD43iLesacJ_NYVXRUHlbqGe1RKJH8yssdAzqq0uH3PqO2IAwGnpHB_olhsgHf4PRo5y/s320/the-gargoyle-by-andrew-davidson.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5733401649226889410" border="0" /></a><br /></span><br /><br />I adored it. It made me feel everything I want to feel when I read a piece of literature. It made me see everything I want to see when I am given the opportunity to create a picture. It is also a story that parallels modern day with Medieval times. I devoured it in two days and it has made its way into my top ten favourites of all time. This story speaks so much of me that I am devasted that I didn't write it myself...but it prompts the question: which story is mine?<br /><br />What I am also gutted about, is that I won't be in London for this:<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmvRS_ZhCGEQtKN7CXqzuOnosN2u0NVQDyTVBnVnGnlQRaFKWKEKzujbIZE09NmT-4sxUq4qBA7j0Ov0yjmKlUnWFlaK4tK1kGFaQZ_jNXnOH5RJvjAkUK8PTLfhtjTJHbzsjOoo95gCP4/s1600/booknight.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 268px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmvRS_ZhCGEQtKN7CXqzuOnosN2u0NVQDyTVBnVnGnlQRaFKWKEKzujbIZE09NmT-4sxUq4qBA7j0Ov0yjmKlUnWFlaK4tK1kGFaQZ_jNXnOH5RJvjAkUK8PTLfhtjTJHbzsjOoo95gCP4/s320/booknight.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5733402872537346114" border="0" /></a></span><a href="http://www.worldbooknight.org/">http://www.worldbooknight.org/</a><br /><br />A night-time event at The Southbank Centre that consists of candlelit readings on the terrace (including Mark Haddon reading his new yet to be published novel), comedy, spoken word, free cocktails and a mass giveaway of 10 titles. I am getting tearful at the laptop just thinking about this amazing event that I can't be at. Seeing as though I'm so fanciful, I'll just hope that I'll astral project myself there for it. Or, someone attend it for me, tell me how great it was and bag me a free book?<br /><br /><a href="http://www.worldbooknight.org/"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></span></a>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-40141826595215770022012-04-03T19:54:00.015-07:002012-04-03T23:10:18.557-07:00Bucket List<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia-gbW511LRbi3MpllKNb861VMdb7oFqGkYr7_SNqaFgug6HHEV2XCbqBW5ITuo5942-rXsWLWswLDTeiEW5v2kCJgmHm2JN-iTQl0i_uiSWwbFl_uZ988aGENO5sunZAapbCRIv1D1Y58/s1600/bucketlist2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia-gbW511LRbi3MpllKNb861VMdb7oFqGkYr7_SNqaFgug6HHEV2XCbqBW5ITuo5942-rXsWLWswLDTeiEW5v2kCJgmHm2JN-iTQl0i_uiSWwbFl_uZ988aGENO5sunZAapbCRIv1D1Y58/s320/bucketlist2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5727374534900402274" border="0" /></a><br />It's been a stressful few weeks out here in Bali and as you may have noticed from the delayed update of this blog, our internet has been off. Much to our frustration, sorting things out like this in Indonesia isn't as simple as making a quick phonecall to your provider. Nothing is. To me, it feels like the equivalent of searching for The Holy Grail. And so, I stress that this maddening situation that we've been in has not just been about the bloody internet of course. A whole multitude of things (and much more serious, may I add) have gone, shall we say, tits up.<br /><br />To conlude, our plans have now changed and we are forced to switch the tracks. We are coming home to Europe in June. There are plenty of positives in this decision, believe me. And the most exciting thing about it is that we have so much more to be getting on with. So many other places we want to see, so many things we want to do.<br /><br />So, during a dinner with a friend, we got onto the subject of a bucket list - a list of things you want to do before you die. After having discussed what we all had done so far, I felt quite proud of my achievments at the age of 27...leaving Bali is just a minor change of plan in the grand scheme of things. Not staying here for a year as previously intended isn't a failure at all but a realisation that this isn't the way it's meant to be. Listening to calls when you get them are more important. That's what it was to me when I decided to go travelling last year, it was a calling. And in following its path, I crossed off a bunch of things from my bucket list in one hit.<br /><br />Our friend chalked up what she'd love to do before she dies and posted it on Facebook...in response to that, I'm going to tell all of you mine on this blog. It is then archived for me to look back on in time to come when I'm feeling a little stuck or blue. Sometimes we just need to tell ourselves that we've been bouncing along a rainbow of experiences all our lives and when we hit that grey cloud, we need to look back on the bountiful path we've been following. And on the otherside of that cloud, sunlight will eventually break.<br /><br />So here are the highlights of what I've done so far:<br /><br />*See the Himalayas<br />*Bond with an Elephant (I spent a lovely morning making and feeding rice parcels to the beautiful elephant Jampar Kali in Nepal)<br />*Visit Jim Morrison's grave in Paris<br />*Spend time on a Native American Reservation<br />*Do a sweatlodge ceremony<br />*See the Grand Canyon<br />*Go dolphin watching<br />*Sit on the dock of the bay (A tribute to Otis Redding in San Francisco)<br />*Stroll down "The Walk of Fame"<br />*See the "Christ the Redeemer" statue in Rio, Brazil<br />*Be on TV (The 6 o'clock news with my mum, in the audience of MTV's <span style="font-style: italic;">TRL</span>, in the background of a news report in Nepal and featuring in a main story on a French reality show about loved ones reuniting at airports - with Loic in Lyon)<br />*Stroke a lion cub<br />*Learn guitar<br />*Learn a craft (there are several I still want to learn, but one of them I actually did was learn how to make candles)<br />*See the Mona Lisa, Venus di Milo and all that jazz at the Louvre<br />*Visit Stonehenge<br />*Go to a Buddhist temple (been to a couple now)<br />*Have a Past Life Regression<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOPrXFIuyxTNAxt6obpcqhVt4TWYAymvLic_dTvcHdql3yCSOscLVZe0-j61RWHtlpiX_-BQ0mgbp6DzpQGUtA1YyRlRY2JY4nd-gn24z8Kfw3B3bLrow-QMBhZeTiZRWoYdeLE3vyt2kf/s1600/himalaya.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOPrXFIuyxTNAxt6obpcqhVt4TWYAymvLic_dTvcHdql3yCSOscLVZe0-j61RWHtlpiX_-BQ0mgbp6DzpQGUtA1YyRlRY2JY4nd-gn24z8Kfw3B3bLrow-QMBhZeTiZRWoYdeLE3vyt2kf/s320/himalaya.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5727411598595721394" border="0" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkErksWf4c20-QhYZfSvOvV2TioEumWL4cZbq1qaNW7yT_Qz276wHZ-SSEgm-enlv46jE9Z-X3DBGVcv_ucGCG_HL-MlQPBFuy5LYFROCjtgiuoNji-qknr2k_dOIhAIlnre4T-7Is0Hb1/s1600/jim.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 256px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkErksWf4c20-QhYZfSvOvV2TioEumWL4cZbq1qaNW7yT_Qz276wHZ-SSEgm-enlv46jE9Z-X3DBGVcv_ucGCG_HL-MlQPBFuy5LYFROCjtgiuoNji-qknr2k_dOIhAIlnre4T-7Is0Hb1/s320/jim.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5727411861159472594" border="0" /></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6NxaMmv57_Q-b4cvkrCQBVEKM5meWxNJVK52H_SDKiVOWfFpgDz3RmsCSFCD-hm3-XchTXD_GbeoXse3UBIH_cSihJUo2fjwu8Gvp1c_oA5cAZnOrTjOUBsjLSEdumpWNNpU1ZtPRoolt/s1600/bachmann-bill-christ-statue-rio-de-janeiro-brazil.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6NxaMmv57_Q-b4cvkrCQBVEKM5meWxNJVK52H_SDKiVOWfFpgDz3RmsCSFCD-hm3-XchTXD_GbeoXse3UBIH_cSihJUo2fjwu8Gvp1c_oA5cAZnOrTjOUBsjLSEdumpWNNpU1ZtPRoolt/s320/bachmann-bill-christ-statue-rio-de-janeiro-brazil.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5727412627369926786" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8DlKZxm659rGThui4bALTwWtDq-CAluKZGgA8312QGdSoL1LGmCwPmBW2F8EaUT8ca39Z9fx4es30teftIyc-ghueiGhE4a3LBwQpkrwxidgcEPVNR5lFobsWO1cJNMUnF_BcPK-kV9nJ/s1600/louvre.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8DlKZxm659rGThui4bALTwWtDq-CAluKZGgA8312QGdSoL1LGmCwPmBW2F8EaUT8ca39Z9fx4es30teftIyc-ghueiGhE4a3LBwQpkrwxidgcEPVNR5lFobsWO1cJNMUnF_BcPK-kV9nJ/s320/louvre.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5727413844931637154" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"> The Himalayas, photo of Jim Morrison's grave by Cyrilplace on Etsy, The Christ in Rio and The Louvre Museum</span><br style="font-style: italic;"></span><br />Ok...so running out of things I've done...a little shorter than I wanted it to be, but not bad a list. I'm sure I'm forgetting a few!<br /><br />And now for my up to date Bucket List:<br /><br />*See Machu Picchu<br />*Hug a panda<br />*Ride an elephant (nearly did but had to cut the trip to Nepal short)<br />*Master a Jimi Hendrix song on electric guitar (I know, I know)<br />*Bathe in the hotsprings in Iceland<br />*Visit Graceland<br />*Go to Japan<br />*Publish a book (this has always been number one, actually)<br />*Visit Delphi, the ancient oracle temple in Greece<br />*Learn more crafts, like: bookmaking, printmaking, sculpture, making stained glass windows, mozaics, dressmaking, soapmaking, woodcarving etc<br />*Own a Victorian house (this comes very closely behind publishing a book - a lifelong dream)<br />*Spend a week in a cosy log cabin<br />*Road trip across Europe<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwvqRyF4rtqs1-aQt_JcRyWe6djDuu7Yh2qJlMRWuJHus7gWI6e9IYfvSShET9x7u7k5efk6sqB3oY5xQhoF_VvddZK6R5Kl81TyQFpgMEYZ5KrEcnRqfdk3upt_T6gJcUYXGnP5e45iy3/s1600/JAPAN-LANDSCAPE-japan-419442_1600_1200.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwvqRyF4rtqs1-aQt_JcRyWe6djDuu7Yh2qJlMRWuJHus7gWI6e9IYfvSShET9x7u7k5efk6sqB3oY5xQhoF_VvddZK6R5Kl81TyQFpgMEYZ5KrEcnRqfdk3upt_T6gJcUYXGnP5e45iy3/s320/JAPAN-LANDSCAPE-japan-419442_1600_1200.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5727415625569854770" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ_1PNzCdmbbACZxhrPShHeNx2TdnSDtE0rcTCj88kok-H7CgLdw1nFKP2df08xBaENxLk6LbELk-miAog39egQUuX7Rv_sowoHoqBcLUPQP1m4wjb8_Oci13t2iUvAG5YeWMzDavaQ2tw/s1600/nov_27_6055_making_mosaic.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ_1PNzCdmbbACZxhrPShHeNx2TdnSDtE0rcTCj88kok-H7CgLdw1nFKP2df08xBaENxLk6LbELk-miAog39egQUuX7Rv_sowoHoqBcLUPQP1m4wjb8_Oci13t2iUvAG5YeWMzDavaQ2tw/s320/nov_27_6055_making_mosaic.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5727419296061160818" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5C0YWDX-Pf9kEI-rebiaYzaBnszlgnkrAAUUUBuyDpkHtJ_yfkCPKcpATLFX_YctW1voJP2FSpM-lGrfazFmQCit59AK0IYdisESP6vT8qSWGPzuFZi6xgFz504I669Vvd0wBZ4_239_B/s1600/iceland2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 216px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5C0YWDX-Pf9kEI-rebiaYzaBnszlgnkrAAUUUBuyDpkHtJ_yfkCPKcpATLFX_YctW1voJP2FSpM-lGrfazFmQCit59AK0IYdisESP6vT8qSWGPzuFZi6xgFz504I669Vvd0wBZ4_239_B/s320/iceland2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5727417018649775154" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0UKldawKtD-pnZUAb3C1keJQblUxRmPWXZWlNNN1Ivs9bhuGbFzmhFQAvr0h__GPSYRL092PbLDW4pyq327Di8NKDHi7wQkB7ql7AIKhBMEhsglLU9Y-L5IZQcs2881-Ggo7NoYlh9Xhe/s1600/machu-picchu.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 234px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0UKldawKtD-pnZUAb3C1keJQblUxRmPWXZWlNNN1Ivs9bhuGbFzmhFQAvr0h__GPSYRL092PbLDW4pyq327Di8NKDHi7wQkB7ql7AIKhBMEhsglLU9Y-L5IZQcs2881-Ggo7NoYlh9Xhe/s320/machu-picchu.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5727421220586942482" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"> Japan, Mozaic making, hotsprings in Iceland and Machu Picchu</span></span><br /><br />And I'm sure there are many more, but we'll leave it there...achievable? I'd like to think so.<br /><br />After reading a few articles on Bucket Lists, there are some rather pessimistic people out there who seem to think that these lists are supposed to include things that are out of one's grasp...unrealistic dreams that would never happen. There was one particularly negative article that gave a 'most likely' type of list that is, according to this writer, the blueprint of most of our lives. The list featured things like: 'get a mortgage then fall behind on payments', 'do a degree and then spend life working in an irrelevant field'...I mean really, if this is the case, it's only because you choose it to be. And what sort of hope is there for people who settle for humdrum and never think they can achieve anything exciting? Go and do it, even if it's the smallest of things like 'write a song' or 'ride a horse' - do it!<br /><br />I'm intrigued by other people's dreams, desires and goals, so what's your bucket list? And better yet, what are your proudest achievements?Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-71992522055932795772012-03-20T21:27:00.007-07:002012-03-20T22:24:40.294-07:00Hide and SeekWe turned our backs and rode away in search of solace, to shake off the heaviness. Even though the rain followed, it was just us in some places, with heavy greens and a blanket sky. We were enveloped in quiet for a while and my smile came back. Wet feet, lank hair and a waterproof mac brought back the feeling of being small in such vastness, beneath such power the Earth can bear.<br />But we rode and we rode and found pockets of space shaped like us to hide in.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzvrnFABBC4PCWAmDhcgfHecYSC_1Eo5qKicfBQLyPqVeq1A1l2kwbw7lAko6c7KeaPIEy_TvAkALL1EXjk35qflQd-pOmOx03EE74SkkUouStR7ohZA-iN25-GGZWfTSqUY7XivSXDLBq/s1600/DSCF0387.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzvrnFABBC4PCWAmDhcgfHecYSC_1Eo5qKicfBQLyPqVeq1A1l2kwbw7lAko6c7KeaPIEy_TvAkALL1EXjk35qflQd-pOmOx03EE74SkkUouStR7ohZA-iN25-GGZWfTSqUY7XivSXDLBq/s320/DSCF0387.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5722203662021596434" border="0" /></a>Between fields and tucked away in mountains, our voices rippled on the wet air, no one could hear us sing, no one could see us there - bubbled up in our need to be. Free.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs5cK00RM_clsbAQr4FIktRj9-iZMJqu25-6FZ0oK8NFUozinZM6M44eiAMCYY-RQ7lqWKUWj0sKahG-TlNs2RbBcCYaUStwYPd1iL3YvDKp_15sgxAlKcZtLbQpCT1xY80j1MCkVdKiAU/s1600/DSCF0389.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs5cK00RM_clsbAQr4FIktRj9-iZMJqu25-6FZ0oK8NFUozinZM6M44eiAMCYY-RQ7lqWKUWj0sKahG-TlNs2RbBcCYaUStwYPd1iL3YvDKp_15sgxAlKcZtLbQpCT1xY80j1MCkVdKiAU/s320/DSCF0389.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5722204902445409186" border="0" /></a><br />I found myself again when my palms reached out for a tree, a need I sometimes feel. To copy its wholeness and stability - we exchanged a few thoughts before it sent me on my way, for there was more for us to seek.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHNoPeSlXebdfF0McPXJr76Pyw76I7uAhpSXHqGiSf4Sn3DYvlMj92bI19yftJf3TsKdPbNpfrW9jfZntmt9t1N1ctTTbUHXxtUQyDVxxUKefrSGJ8A8wXx-ujdnDWSAnl76M8G1xIOnnB/s1600/DSCF0410.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHNoPeSlXebdfF0McPXJr76Pyw76I7uAhpSXHqGiSf4Sn3DYvlMj92bI19yftJf3TsKdPbNpfrW9jfZntmt9t1N1ctTTbUHXxtUQyDVxxUKefrSGJ8A8wXx-ujdnDWSAnl76M8G1xIOnnB/s320/DSCF0410.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5722206822544940898" border="0" /></a>And up high where you all seem impossible, we calmed the chill - the shakes, and replaced them with liquid stillness and imagined what we could be somewhere out there, up there, down there. But together.<br /><br />And when we could ride no more, we crept in darkness, hushed and safely hidden, dimmed light called us in. A room made for gentle voices, no others could get in. A cocoon of white softness and heavy eyes but a sigh of peace each, sailed across promising pillows. A hot shower shifted time and space and the swelling of hearts under its deep healing, almost prompted a tear.<br /><br />We'd found our spot, our nook to exist and dissappear in. And in breaking light after dreams of home, I'd realised that it's not somewhere out there, up there or down there but in us. Just us.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc4VaLw74X1BsiKnIU6nS6DmEtC50FvQL9H_HJI2AXMUFFv1uGqTIPi0NHdyzpA2Mr-pUoNMBYYUGJwXXUUk00CqltaeTpLhnEoHTDowds00srzDT-JURjXvt8TQKGos8l0uJkeYmjEUcz/s1600/DSCF0384.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc4VaLw74X1BsiKnIU6nS6DmEtC50FvQL9H_HJI2AXMUFFv1uGqTIPi0NHdyzpA2Mr-pUoNMBYYUGJwXXUUk00CqltaeTpLhnEoHTDowds00srzDT-JURjXvt8TQKGos8l0uJkeYmjEUcz/s320/DSCF0384.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5722216470680920722" border="0" /></a>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-3568974141670323032012-03-14T04:09:00.004-07:002012-03-14T04:49:43.091-07:00I Need Therapy<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl9Rv-09upLxOgbR7BYBQLNAOhUiycvlWiuHtZcIuu1R_m9COlTn1Fw8mzXAOsGEUr1ZpORM7BCOYrn10_EeV152mkk9VpFRGaOrtjeqW3J2aNEDr4OHxUGB52eHQY2_4F0P2X7O5XzFqU/s1600/massage.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl9Rv-09upLxOgbR7BYBQLNAOhUiycvlWiuHtZcIuu1R_m9COlTn1Fw8mzXAOsGEUr1ZpORM7BCOYrn10_EeV152mkk9VpFRGaOrtjeqW3J2aNEDr4OHxUGB52eHQY2_4F0P2X7O5XzFqU/s320/massage.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5718152606402754930" border="0" /></a><br />No, don't worry, this isn't a cry out for help. On Friday I was awarded a certificate in Aromatherapy Massage; another qualification to add to the others. Another tool in my belt to becoming an Holistic Therapist. I enrolled myself on this course because, well, quite frankly, I was craving it. Every now and then (usually every year) I get a desire to learn another therapy, go to a workshop or get involved in a ceremony like the sweat lodge I did in Arizona. I love to learn and I think I'll be a student for the rest of my life. I used to think that I was a "Jack of all trades and a master of none" but quite frankly, I'd much rather know a little bit about everything than be an expert in one particular thing. It's all part of my aim to gel together everything I've learned and qualified in and produce an all-rounded practice. So far I've got my BA in Creative Writing, my diploma in Herbalism, my practitioner's certificate in Colour Therapy and Angelic Reiki and now the Aromatherapy Massage. I'm already thinking about what's next...<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhouC2BTz1WTFsHDTszgKfLc14fydS66d4FYon_LQL52B2lA6ux8Q3-oL9xHsEY6tFtC6FiamgBtnVklIai546nocic-8aKwucTS1G4z3DRUsYu3r_k_7R5gSBZI1zeMAsFyy6_ayoBYu1z/s1600/sage.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhouC2BTz1WTFsHDTszgKfLc14fydS66d4FYon_LQL52B2lA6ux8Q3-oL9xHsEY6tFtC6FiamgBtnVklIai546nocic-8aKwucTS1G4z3DRUsYu3r_k_7R5gSBZI1zeMAsFyy6_ayoBYu1z/s320/sage.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5718155342546402546" border="0" /></a>I've never set myself up as a therapist before because I never had a space to practice from, didn't have enough money to start up with and was planning to travel first but the time is coming very soon for me to start helping people to balance their bodies, hearts and minds. For me, alternative therapies have done wonders for my own personal healing and growth. The Angelic Reiki atunements I received, working with colour, meditation, drinking herbal teas, using essential oils in candles and burners, doing yoga and going through a year of energy bodywork treatments has made me almost a brand new person - no scratch that, it has cleared out my negative emotions and the stagnant energy in my body that had sat there for years. It brought my mind, body and spirit closer in alignment. So not a brand new person but a stronger and an improved version of myself.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9fAHsWBy97b25Ma2h7sgKE2u5AIKAd9eOX2AClfmeZtnPMutkY9Glg6WCWCPkCou1NmKKEtjMv-CmANqemCbohB0ayDxFJE0WurSIsKZ77HMYv5NCBBt8YI5jR7186iFXcLXDAGkHhl5s/s1600/chakras.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9fAHsWBy97b25Ma2h7sgKE2u5AIKAd9eOX2AClfmeZtnPMutkY9Glg6WCWCPkCou1NmKKEtjMv-CmANqemCbohB0ayDxFJE0WurSIsKZ77HMYv5NCBBt8YI5jR7186iFXcLXDAGkHhl5s/s320/chakras.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5719709061692958082" border="0" /></a><br />So, I want to facilitate this for others. I've got lots of ideas and projects that I want to get started on and a website is on the cards very soon. I'm open to collaboration projects in terms of running workshops so I'll be pulling in all my resources and getting anyone who's keen to get involved. When I'm back from Bali, I'll be looking to offer poetry workshops, painting mandala sessions, meditation classes, making natural remedies and cosmetics workshops and running Native American influenced groupwork and healings as well as being available for massages, aura cleansings, chakra balancing and reiki treatments so if you fancy any of that, please let me know. It'll be full of warmth, comfort and joy, I promise you!Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-9202670749245731792012-02-29T23:48:00.010-08:002012-03-01T02:23:24.443-08:00The Comfort Zone<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0NY4_99pJREHMo7Q9aAlkwx2D5wVaDHD47Y3k2v9E0yGdRVKn8DA4ZseSXeuJ2TUhWMHKnOZRpMBKwmtlRyyyZ08p4uiJ_5zH086nbRxaFr8E-z0mIJIHAaCnQzIDcSbr1cp0ItsQXFVm/s1600/bath.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 262px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0NY4_99pJREHMo7Q9aAlkwx2D5wVaDHD47Y3k2v9E0yGdRVKn8DA4ZseSXeuJ2TUhWMHKnOZRpMBKwmtlRyyyZ08p4uiJ_5zH086nbRxaFr8E-z0mIJIHAaCnQzIDcSbr1cp0ItsQXFVm/s320/bath.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5714836272441497522" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">Photo by Nina Leen, 1954</span><br /><br /></div>As I sit here watching it piddle down outside, I'm thinking about why I'm feeling so restless. Why am I not either relaxing properly or getting on with things like writing some poetry, working on unfinished pieces or continuing to read that book I started ages ago?<br /><br />Those of you who work, long for a day like this; when it's raining outside, you don't really have to go anywhere and you can truly indulge in anything or nothing. For me right now, it's absolutely tedious; hence why inspiration has flown from me and I can't get into my projects. Until I start working, I'll be sat around twiddling my thumbs some more..."just relax and enjoy your time" you say? Not easy when you run out of things to do by 11am and it's too hot to want to do anthing else. You see, my usual creature comforts don't apply here in Bali.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjVJCtHV1JzbyZxNt2gartoINuAbOjqYzj3Vo39qHeY2sYXSf9kc3ZG-2trvBudRx5c1pq5eOp21hUYNbKfPVpJ3OE1AQH0obNgQO9FXSzJModQ2Mfu2SBF9DoZiJzL2pVdXtBkz6VcwBn/s1600/fuzzy.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 299px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjVJCtHV1JzbyZxNt2gartoINuAbOjqYzj3Vo39qHeY2sYXSf9kc3ZG-2trvBudRx5c1pq5eOp21hUYNbKfPVpJ3OE1AQH0obNgQO9FXSzJModQ2Mfu2SBF9DoZiJzL2pVdXtBkz6VcwBn/s320/fuzzy.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5714859638751874434" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">Image from We Heart it<br /><br /></span></div>The things that make me feel fuzzy and content are:<br /><br />*Wearing a baggy woollen jumper<br />*Laying on the sofa with the cat and rubbing his belly<br />*Baking a cake while listening to old music<br />*Eating said cake with a cup of tea (usually with someone to have a good natter with)<br />*Having a long hot shower, using all my best soaps and scrubs<br />*Watching movies that I've loved since I was a child like Elvis' <span style="font-style: italic;">G.I Blues</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">Please Sir!,</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">Seven Brides for Seven Brothers,</span> or <span style="font-style: italic;">Airplane!</span> (usually with my favourite blanket wrapped around me)<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmhIKASwqzsiqbhF8w6QICJ1adGzr003Ro2QvExu5-hNBk4FEl5d3soeasuJbyjxnHSsOLcL7zNtE9MOWbs5junW9R6oZyu7osFlprGcIvAJEAi9dg58m5cEjytea58CR9MZKrmj0mDWn6/s1600/gi+blues.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 293px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmhIKASwqzsiqbhF8w6QICJ1adGzr003Ro2QvExu5-hNBk4FEl5d3soeasuJbyjxnHSsOLcL7zNtE9MOWbs5junW9R6oZyu7osFlprGcIvAJEAi9dg58m5cEjytea58CR9MZKrmj0mDWn6/s320/gi+blues.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5714867231190025618" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">Scene from <span style="font-style: italic;">G.I Blues</span></span><br /></div><br />*Do I sound like an old lady?!*<br /><br />*Rediscovering albums that I haven't listened to in ages, then dancing to them while tidying up<br />*Flipping through a copy of <span style="font-style: italic;">Spirit & Destiny Magazine</span> and then researching online all the awesome workshops and books it recommends<br />*Watching a marathon of <span style="font-style: italic;">Location, Location, Location</span> (again, a cup of tea must accompany this)<br />*Quoting <span style="font-style: italic;">Alan Partridge</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">IT Crowd</span> and other favourite comedy shows through text and down the phone with mates<br />*Ordering Chinese for dinner then eating it while watching a DVD<br />*Getting into my pyjamas (providing I changed out of them in the first place), putting my slippers on and having a pre-bedtime chat with my sister over that last cup of tea.<br /><br />Ahhh...<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCA5qk7L67tvTOGzjrJvPb6FlSBJZq_P11cWXZuCWixD42sxl02P7HNc0IWda9yP9b2-Vbt8jq7jd4GG7qS6Y9ZZBoeQLueJUt5rfs5kLB6ysDVQwwmM7NXheXl-7MXGzafSoApMPpBd9O/s1600/2-best-10-ideas-country-living-rooms-cosy-living-room.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCA5qk7L67tvTOGzjrJvPb6FlSBJZq_P11cWXZuCWixD42sxl02P7HNc0IWda9yP9b2-Vbt8jq7jd4GG7qS6Y9ZZBoeQLueJUt5rfs5kLB6ysDVQwwmM7NXheXl-7MXGzafSoApMPpBd9O/s320/2-best-10-ideas-country-living-rooms-cosy-living-room.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5714861967151823122" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">Not my own living room obviously, image from Country Living</span><br /><br /></div>Now, none of those things are possible apart from the tea (until I run out of the PG Tips I brought with me) but let's face it, it's not really something you can drink all day long when you're sat there lethargic and sweaty from the blazing heat. And night time is reserved for ensuring that you've covered all mosquito repellent methods so that you don't get mauled in your sleep and there is certainly no place for pyjamas and fuzzy socks; it's more like skimpy vest and underwear, barefoot and no covers. So I have to find some new comforts if I'm going to enjoy all this 'spare time'...suggestions are welcome.<br /><br />So enjoy Spring guys, 'cos it's coming your way and it's my favourite season of the year. Because, aside from those days when I'm dossing about in my comfy clothes while it's cold and raining outside, I just adore those other days when I look out the window and notice that the blossom trees are coming into bloom and that soft cosy living room where I drink my tea and watch my old movies, is lit up with the fresh sunshine of Spring. The other thing that makes me warm and fuzzy is seeing that my cat has noticed it too and is rolling around on the carpet, bathing himself in the rays.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-12242677471243524292012-02-17T11:45:00.002-08:002012-02-17T20:35:29.075-08:00CommunionThis morning I've been thinking about what keeps us from feeling alone in the world and the obvious answer is communication. But what happens when we feel comforted by a pet? We suddenly feel more relaxed, more at home if there's a dog whimpering at us or wagging its tail or when a cat comes sauntering into the room and purrs. Usually when we think we're bored or lonely, we assume that we need someone to talk to. But animals cannot verbally communicate but aren't we soothed by them because on some level we really are having an exchange?<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1p0nbuUIOHCnidAWBMomFtF3T6jvRjttNC9u-YdSfOReGD4J2PtM6yqdffjdbjQ8qNF0Hj2UTMeLPQZGxZf9tNNBudgy4PyfsU_blQVqv9JibfCUkHzXXBKCLpHwtEIsOyjspPyvY3eDK/s1600/DSC00052.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1p0nbuUIOHCnidAWBMomFtF3T6jvRjttNC9u-YdSfOReGD4J2PtM6yqdffjdbjQ8qNF0Hj2UTMeLPQZGxZf9tNNBudgy4PyfsU_blQVqv9JibfCUkHzXXBKCLpHwtEIsOyjspPyvY3eDK/s320/DSC00052.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5710320515349101202" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Rocky</span></span><br /><br /></div>I miss Rocky, my cat of nearly ten years. So much so, that I feel guilty for leaving him in the UK. He's with my sister and her family and I couldn't trust more that he's being well looked after and loved, but I feel like I owe him an explanation for why I won't be in his life for a year. Some people may say "that's silly, he's just a cat" but cat lovers, animal lovers, petowners, whatever, will understand that we share an unseen, unspoken bond. And those who believe that animals are purely biological and have no emotion ought to be slapped for such ignorance and absolute arrogance to think that humans are somehow superior - why? because we have the functional abilities to voice our neuroses and victimised emotions?! Animals know love and that is a more powerful tool for personal progression than being able to vocalise complaints, pettiness, jealousy, fear and all the other emotions that stunt our growth. We can certainly learn a hell of a lot from animals. They can teach us the difference between idleness and peace, hunger and desire, fear and discernment, personal choices that continue to work for us and facilitate our prime state.<br /><br />I read this article on Facebook, it's moved me so much that not only did I 'like' it and repost it, I am going to talk about it here because this is the manifestation of grace and Oneness between animal and human being. A family took their baby girl to a zoo and while she gazed in fascination at the 'predators' on the otherside of the glass, this one tiger took a particular interest in this child and walked towards her. The article suggested that her parents and the spectators were 'certain that she would need therapy after this' (how disempowering!) that he'd snarl in her face and she'd be scarred or terrified of cats for the rest of her life. Instead, the little girl placed her hand on the glass and the tiger put his paw up to meet her palm and bowed gently before walking away calmly.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYuZz_BKDZpHSeWnyWBIdB0MIEovCLSZ3d5cJSq0x6BPYkfYdTFCFAPBvc7obDkptC-KTuSTYpinUowUmHNZK1SdXORo7BEQGBXdym_N5_2UpDhpHFIZ_LsWwCCmKbp-t-imV0xDCjK5v7/s1600/Tiger+bowing.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 298px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYuZz_BKDZpHSeWnyWBIdB0MIEovCLSZ3d5cJSq0x6BPYkfYdTFCFAPBvc7obDkptC-KTuSTYpinUowUmHNZK1SdXORo7BEQGBXdym_N5_2UpDhpHFIZ_LsWwCCmKbp-t-imV0xDCjK5v7/s320/Tiger+bowing.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5710318889114338626" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Posted by 'Earth. We are One.'</span></span><br /><br /></div>What's the description of this moment, please? All that comes to my mind is beauty. Evidence of an unspoken exchange, feeling, communion, spirituality. Do we ask, what was so special about this little child that the tiger singled her out and approached her with respect and kindness? No, this little girl isn't the 'chosen one' but I believe she must have projected the truth in her heart - completely free of fear. There are many possibilities and one has to believe in the unknown in order to consider these options as viable. Even the idea that (and some of you may think I'm crazy here but those who understand will agree wholeheartedly) that there was some kind of knowing between them. Some sentient understanding and in that moment, they shared this mutual thought. This baby may not be aware of it (on a conscious level) but somewhere in her eternally operative consciousness -the parts that allow us to dream or to feel recognition without information - must have.<br /><br />Disagree? Why?<br /><br />I watched a film called <span style="font-style: italic;">Waking Life</span>, recommended to me by a very dear friend and there was so much in the script that pretty much mimics a thought process that I've been operating on for most of my life and have shared with very special friends of mine because we feel that unspoken knowing between us. It is ever present and it acts as a blueprint for how our lives progress and although we may all have different circumstances and be different people, we never fail to see the synchronicity that binds us together - it is the sense of Oneness. Go ahead, make fun of this 'hippy fluff', but I know what I'm feeling when I look at that picture of the tiger and the baby, I know what I'm feeling when my cat wraps his arm around mine while looking deeply yet softly into my eyes and I know what I'm feeling when I'm in a room full of spiritually aware people who feel nourished and empowered by a shared view of openness and sentient connection - in turn making us incredibly enlightened and positive.<br /><br />But back to this film I watched, it's about Lucid Dreaming (being aware that you're dreaming and therefore being able to direct it) and there are just so many discussions in this film that got those thought processes going again. Which of course, proves to me that the friend who recommended it to me, knows on some level that I'd appreciate it because I'm tapping into the same realm of possibilties that she is. 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mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" >"It might be true that there are six billion people in the world and counting.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>Nevertheless, what you do makes a difference.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>It makes a difference, first of all, in material terms.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>Makes a difference to other people and it sets an example.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>In short, I think the message here is...</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>that we should never simply write ourselves off...</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>and see ourselves as the victim of various forces.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>It's always our decision who we are.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>Creation seems to come out of imperfection.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>It seems to come out of a striving and a frustration.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>And this is where I think language came from.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>I mean, it came from our desire to transcend our isolation...</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>and have some sort of connection with one another.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>And it had to be easy when it was just simple survival.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>Like, you know, "water." We came up with a sound for that.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>Or, "Saber-toothed tiger right behind you." We came up with a sound for that.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>But when it gets really interesting, I think,</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>is when we use that same system of symbols to communicate...</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>all the abstract and intangible things that we're experiencing.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>What is, like, frustration? Or what is anger or love?</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>When I say "love,"</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>the sound comes out of my mouth...</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>and it hits the other person's ear,</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>travels through this Byzantine conduit in their brain,</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>you know, through their memories of love or lack of love,</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>and they register what I'm saying and say yes, they understand.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>But how do I know they understand? Because words are inert.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>They're just symbols. They're dead, you know?</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>And so much of our experience is intangible.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>So much of what we perceive cannot be expressed. It's unspeakable.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>And yet, you know, when we communicate with one another,</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>and we--</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>we feel that we have connected,</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>and we think that we're understood,</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt"><span style="font-family:"Courier New";mso-fareast-Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-GBfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>I think we have a feeling of almost spiritual communion."</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I'm thinking all of this because the house is quiet and empty during the day when Lo is at work and I fancy a chat. But that's not to say I want to go out and find people to talk to either, I'm missing those that I have that unspoken feeling of Oneness with, even though we still talk for hours whenever we're together. But they understand that for now we can only send our thoughts and love to each other.<br /></p>But just like the tiger and the baby, you sometimes just have to see it.<br /><br />And I guess what I want to say about Rocky is that, even though I long for him to come running into the room if I called his name right now, I can only be appeased by the thought that on some level, he and I have an understanding and he knows that I love him, miss him and will most certainly come back to him.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-74206916625035611462012-02-15T04:10:00.000-08:002012-02-14T20:54:06.743-08:00Nesting<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiccvmPABfEE0oOePPXK1hlgG_pxvc1tTK-lt2jTCsgFf3Xoz1BezUWgpr76kq2dTi3QwAG7Qeh_6rvQmxyHmoqBBYKz1w8hjeSBM_rAjM9-h4-NbPcgTcJxijw1vkd8NZ6jg8dWlrF1NiT/s1600/Owls.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 244px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiccvmPABfEE0oOePPXK1hlgG_pxvc1tTK-lt2jTCsgFf3Xoz1BezUWgpr76kq2dTi3QwAG7Qeh_6rvQmxyHmoqBBYKz1w8hjeSBM_rAjM9-h4-NbPcgTcJxijw1vkd8NZ6jg8dWlrF1NiT/s320/Owls.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5709210126085204226" border="0" /></a>It was Valentine's yesterday and had someone hadn't reminded me, I wouldn't have remembered and I think that's the way I like it. For me, there shouldn't be one designated day to make an effort to show someone you love them...it should be apparent in the relationship everyday. And there are so many little things that happen in my world to know that I am loved and not just by my partner but by my friends and family too.<br /><br />The past couple of weeks Lo and I have been trying to build up our home. It's old and has some querks but we're slowly starting to work with them - there are times of course when I long for that Victorian with the wooden floors, original fireplaces and high ceilings - I think I always will until I have it (it will be mine, oh yes, it will be mine...) but I am lucky and count myself so every day. I have a space now to fill with small things to keep me feeling like I'm at home for the next year. It's been tough, I must say, things aren't easy to get in Bali, not in the slightest! Something pretty is always out of budget and if you really want something unique, you have to haggle your arse off for it and everything else, the simple things like a butter knife or a colander just don't seem to exist...they are seriously two things on my mission list to find.<br /><br />And when you do find what you want and cannot carry it home, the delivery charge is the same price as the item. But through blood, sweat and tears, Lo and I have managed to find just a few simple pieces to get our place feeling like home and one thing in particular, that I loved the minute I saw it, is this painting that we found in Ubud (nic-nac heaven for artsy/hippy/New Age people)<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhukkU1PoH3YvuiO6iFwufPTQ_hRq2q5jjpXeAzhPADianb7cAgbxchTknqNZDYhfZE6kvo_Wioh9iP9lEPbIVQmM6KcqhjbqrQREDq3JclJcIOxLxr52Xp8mIQpSSEZXRWKmrC2BNOe0ys/s1600/DSCF0342.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhukkU1PoH3YvuiO6iFwufPTQ_hRq2q5jjpXeAzhPADianb7cAgbxchTknqNZDYhfZE6kvo_Wioh9iP9lEPbIVQmM6KcqhjbqrQREDq3JclJcIOxLxr52Xp8mIQpSSEZXRWKmrC2BNOe0ys/s320/DSCF0342.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5709213462872387970" border="0" /></a><br />And how I knew I was truly loved in that moment? Loic spotted it first, said nothing out loud but thought to himself 'that painting is so my Stephanie and she's going to love it when she sees it' - and I really did! He saw my eyes light up and then haggled the artist for it. And when we got it home and hung it up and put the other little bits and pieces together we'd bought in Ubud, we stood back and looked at the room, it's now looking a bit more us.<br /><br />Loic knows how much I love property and interior design and trusts me completely to pick things out for the house, I put as much love into putting together a room as I do into my relationships - every little thoughtful detail matters. And although this is just a temporary home, it's a project I've been longing for, for absolute years. I've moved house way too many times and have painfully watched my stuff get packed into people's attics and garages far too often, all I ever wanted was to nest. I get giddy when a new series of <span style="font-style: italic;">Location, Location, Location</span> comes on, Kirstie Allsop is my domestic idol and I think I squealed through most of her C4 series <span style="font-style: italic;">Kirstie's Homemade Home</span>. I used to get kicks out of walking around Habitat, Next Home, Ikea and anywhere else that sells homewares and <span style="font-style: italic;">Ideal Homes</span> magazine is my porn. I've mentally decorated so many times that my fantasy world isn't a Disney fairytale or a snapshot of a peaceful tropical beach, it's a room of bespoke furniture, colours, fabrics, art, wooden pieces, handmade rugs, stained glass, bookcases, antique lamps and handmade crafts. The only thing missing is some beautiful cake recipes for me to try out (another way I nest and present my love to others is to bake) but we don't have an oven - another item that is a rarity in Bali. But we have to make sacrifices, of course.<br /><br />And so, aside from trying to create a cheap domestic Nirvana, I have been adoring my time with Lo. And when my heart aches a little from missing my family, my friends and my dearest, dearest Rocky boy, he soothes it with the palm of his hand and tells me that he knows how hard this all is for me. Another reason why I'm so lucky. And although I can't invite any of you around for a cup of tea and a chat, I know that this is a building block to our next home back in Europe where I sometimes long to be again to receive that love that you all send my way, in person and not just through email, Facebook or Skype. But I'm sending it to you and I hope you can feel that as you are always in my thoughts, everyday, and not just one. I don't need St. Valentine to remind me what love is.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-43414395736507723332012-02-03T23:40:00.001-08:002012-02-04T04:13:12.618-08:00I've Become a Sleepy House Cat<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfLU1xJ3exb3tVyqqZh67NXLRosweTfifHSDCGbiYhkJblIVFTU-Fuuf_cScO62ZKy22BqFxgB1hM1ajU6aN2o4HXL569PS10NsbMhEP8YUCGXdTyZ-MS4f48lr4IFaPE5no4heo4AKQ6J/s1600/sleeping+cat.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 245px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfLU1xJ3exb3tVyqqZh67NXLRosweTfifHSDCGbiYhkJblIVFTU-Fuuf_cScO62ZKy22BqFxgB1hM1ajU6aN2o4HXL569PS10NsbMhEP8YUCGXdTyZ-MS4f48lr4IFaPE5no4heo4AKQ6J/s320/sleeping+cat.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5705182290728777362" border="0" /></a><br />Yawwwwwn. The past few days, I haven't seemed to break out of the habit of having daytime naps. Although these naps have turned into three to four hour long sleeps. And I'm sleeping again at night too! I expressed this guilty habit to my boyfriend and I suggested that it's either due to extreme tiredness (clocked up over the last few very busy months), laziness (I'm more reluctant to admit this one) or boredom. Lo put it down to boredom. Our new house is still missing some furniture and I really do think it'll make a difference once there's a living room set up so that I'm not horizontal for most the day. The living room gets the best light in the house too so I think I'd feel a lot more energised if I was being soaked in sunshine while sat upright to write and read and get the other things done that my brain is nagging me to do.<br /><br />Lo has been working late lots this week and worries that I'm feeling a bit imprisoned. I'm not, I have just succumbed to the stagnant energy in the house. It needs brightening up a bit and so do I. No more of this flopping about hazily on the bed.<br /><br />The other solution is a bike to go out on. I wanna be a girl about town, riding to the bakery, the beach or just out having a bit of a cruise. I don't think I'll really feel like I'm living in Bali until I'm independently going about my day so this evening, my beau Lo and I are going out to get one. I'm a little anxious though, I haven't ridden a bike properly since I was about 13 so it's going to take a while before I venture far and confidently.<br /><br />But at least I've had plenty of net time to stay connected, do research and get inspired. I've come across a few blogs to keep me ticking over like <a href="http://www.retrogasm.tumblr.com/">Retrogasm</a> where awesome retro pictures like this are posted:<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6BU_VeylD8Bbtju_7AOObT7pyXzkSeO10rmUpLk3GMAzUc3QzkwoAQ369LwQ7cC5l-GJXCniJmMAjeE6NOxCingGXuVjYseTvPj1o2s2zNXyjMG-rH-DfKfe6eT4OIaBncoDIFIA6DA4-/s1600/retro+mermaid.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6BU_VeylD8Bbtju_7AOObT7pyXzkSeO10rmUpLk3GMAzUc3QzkwoAQ369LwQ7cC5l-GJXCniJmMAjeE6NOxCingGXuVjYseTvPj1o2s2zNXyjMG-rH-DfKfe6eT4OIaBncoDIFIA6DA4-/s320/retro+mermaid.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5705188882672553970" border="0" /></a><br />And <a href="http://the-final-sentence.tumblr.com/">The Final Sentence</a>, a blog dedicated to compiling final sentences of great literature which I think is a fantastic idea and sometimes I'll read one and think 'wow what a bloomin' good ending to a book!' you'd think it would spoil wanting to read the rest of the novel, but for me, if it's a beautiful ending then the rest of the book must be beautiful too...<br /><br /><a href="http://thisamazingplanet.tumblr.com/">This Amazing Planet</a> does what it says on the tin. It's a blog that posts breathtaking photos by various photographers of the most stunning locations on Earth (like these below)...it really is visual joy.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz8JVvBY0YUbre7YiIUhwh2-rtEnHjdZ4aqRohCLnNIukMiVFJWCLtVdyWV_VY4rZAwE_kDKHuecabEeNZ2lG3HgGjzWG_yn9LLZ_rYRB8Bqb0XfDvpVh8joHNbpj2T5vSQoS3mQVU3Oz4/s1600/this+amazing+planet.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz8JVvBY0YUbre7YiIUhwh2-rtEnHjdZ4aqRohCLnNIukMiVFJWCLtVdyWV_VY4rZAwE_kDKHuecabEeNZ2lG3HgGjzWG_yn9LLZ_rYRB8Bqb0XfDvpVh8joHNbpj2T5vSQoS3mQVU3Oz4/s320/this+amazing+planet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5705195100240568818" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPDD4TkFx-kuBhzPrrVzEfEBbecGeRJkaq_yo42Qjeiuxgelk6ioK7XK1cj-wlfCcM78dbqVLAlRP6MZbQzCcTgwW1ubqsyrYWrEyD_89Kn0QjvZKDTr1qaJXFSIFEZ4LTudUUrqMVupHh/s1600/this+amazing+planet+2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPDD4TkFx-kuBhzPrrVzEfEBbecGeRJkaq_yo42Qjeiuxgelk6ioK7XK1cj-wlfCcM78dbqVLAlRP6MZbQzCcTgwW1ubqsyrYWrEyD_89Kn0QjvZKDTr1qaJXFSIFEZ4LTudUUrqMVupHh/s320/this+amazing+planet+2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5705196921188067602" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYgkCl2WBTfOijpb76NsW4P9GSM66aA1JkfSM8s3gAcbfvXIp_A0olOv1wVb62IQY0G8lgVO9c75NH-tTIOJm7piMi1nyC-lGn1phiP1CkBfgF2rfmq7ZD0bn_MicAWOx_CorqQmkYcU1r/s1600/this+amazing+planet+3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYgkCl2WBTfOijpb76NsW4P9GSM66aA1JkfSM8s3gAcbfvXIp_A0olOv1wVb62IQY0G8lgVO9c75NH-tTIOJm7piMi1nyC-lGn1phiP1CkBfgF2rfmq7ZD0bn_MicAWOx_CorqQmkYcU1r/s320/this+amazing+planet+3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5705198120282881234" border="0" /></a><br />For more silly entertainment I've been following <a href="http://nightmaresandboners.com/">Nightmares and Boners</a>, a blog written by a twenty-something chic who lives in East London and writes (quite openly and comically) about the mishaps of her relationships and sex life. It's just good for a chuckle and some light anecdotal amusement.<br /><br />And while I was looking for pictures of sleeping cats (and there are thousands - each so bloody adorable) I came across one of the most hilarious blogs I've ever seen: <a href="http://barelyferal.tumblr.com/">Barely Feral</a>. Someone has posed themselves the question: "what if there was a porn site designed by cats for cats?" and has come up with this gem. Just...take a look...it's brilliant.<br /><br />Ah, the things I do with my spare time...Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-55010446288922416202012-02-02T00:08:00.000-08:002012-02-02T01:46:28.155-08:00New Digs and Crazy Dreams<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR8wqKglXy-qNagExDQuKsUZkxH9J78JbK6XiaCaoN-4QrSIg4kks5jAiBshsHtugZCizWc2zv9ksMxzv_8ZJap64z3lSxIZIifPxTqlkYVLxPZdmq5nyjOsZR4F3w5k5UlVCKQUBI3jiP/s1600/tumblr_llutymYaKA1qcmvcvo1_1280_large.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR8wqKglXy-qNagExDQuKsUZkxH9J78JbK6XiaCaoN-4QrSIg4kks5jAiBshsHtugZCizWc2zv9ksMxzv_8ZJap64z3lSxIZIifPxTqlkYVLxPZdmq5nyjOsZR4F3w5k5UlVCKQUBI3jiP/s320/tumblr_llutymYaKA1qcmvcvo1_1280_large.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5704455380360239266" border="0" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">image from We Heart it</span></span><br /><br /></div>I am now an expat. A weird thought indeed; and before I left the UK in September, I don't think that was a word I ever used before. But I'm in Bali now, after a stint around the world and a month at home, I've got me a new place and a box full of exciting opportunities.<br /><br />London, I love you and I miss you for a few things: you've got my best friends and my family and you've got those favourite spots I sometimes went to whenever I wanted to leave the house. All I needed was the Oyster fare and I could immerse myself in history, art and esoterism - and if I had extra change for a coffee well then that would just make my day.<br /><br />But I had to leave you, you see there was more for me out there - there <span style="font-style: italic;">is</span> more for me. And to not miss you at all, I have to think of the things that annoy me the most about you: the biting cold, the shoulder-barges and tuts on a crowded and uncomfortable tube journey; the outrageous prices of decent food in the supermarket and the shoebox flats that you insist people should pay most a months' wages on. But one day I'll come back and it won't be too far off - even if it is just to go back in time and sit in The Bedford in Balham, my family kitchen in Polards Hill, the mini-haven in The Cloisters, The Penderals Oak in Holborn and The Starbucks in Victoria Station because it is these places where I find time again and spend love on my favourite people.<br /><br />But things will be different for a year and I've been given time and love to spend with one very special person in this tropical territory and a house to get my itchy, decorator hands on. These delicious, brand new things in my life have seemed like a dream and I never want to wake up from it when I'm looking into green/amber eyes on the pillow next to mine. And although bedtime for me has been the stuff of lullabies, when I've slipped into sleep, I've had crazy and awful dreams.<br /><br />Reality and dreams flipped? Or a need to clear some unwanted energy?<br /><br />The first day in our new house, I wafted a Banishing incense stick around every room in the house and swept but I can't help but feel that it needs more to transmute the energy - oh to have a singing bowl and my Goddesses to help raise the vibration. But I'm going to have to come up with something because, either there are some deeper issues in my psyche that are showing themselves in my slumber or there are influences coming through the veil from times past in this place. I love my new home and I'm never uncomfortable but last night I woke up after what felt like hours of anxiety dreams. A narrated (and very vividly so) thriller story that at first felt like fiction but then had me throw my eyes open with an intense case of goosebumps and then a panicked dream about getting to my cat whom I'd left with a friend but could never seem to catch the bus I needed to get on to reach him - ok, so the last one maybe a little closer to home.<br /><br />So tonight I ask the Moon to bring me a dreamless sleep because I don't need them in the night. The morning brings me the most wonderful vision of a glorious future reflected back at me by those green/amber eyes on the pillow next to mine.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-82635970774533254142011-08-21T11:39:00.000-07:002011-08-21T12:39:24.191-07:00Journeys<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTqOe77BwzXBQjuSQp7sobxPnFvoifhfPh7M9x_HEcGtinzJh39SPWjkBRUO6gNYCcJRYTpcPwdDTakROVh0dNjcyDeq1-JgFgM-75H-Z_XvKFiUBFoyyXLShtsWWloaC1Tm9RuUY2ZzoK/s1600/2011-08-19+19.04.51.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTqOe77BwzXBQjuSQp7sobxPnFvoifhfPh7M9x_HEcGtinzJh39SPWjkBRUO6gNYCcJRYTpcPwdDTakROVh0dNjcyDeq1-JgFgM-75H-Z_XvKFiUBFoyyXLShtsWWloaC1Tm9RuUY2ZzoK/s320/2011-08-19+19.04.51.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5643395422257760050" border="0" /></a>
<br />On Friday night I went to see the play "Journey's End" in the Duke of York Theatre. As my friend and I waited for the production to begin, I got this shot of the stage. The curtain was printed with the iconic World War 1 "Your country needs you" poster.
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<br />The play was sensational and every single actor was stunning at their role. The set was dimly lit and intimate, allowing the audience to observe this Dugout from just the right distance. Just like with any war film/novel/poem/memorial etc this play got me a little choked up and damp in the eyes.
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<br />Then I thought about this phrase again: "Your country needs you"...no, it doesn't. The world does. As I prepare for my three and a half month trip across the globe, all I can think about is the Native Americans that I am to be helping out as a volunteer. They need a spare pair of hands and I really need them. I'll be leaving behind a post-riot London and the rise of rail tickets and all the other depressing things I've seen sailing through the media lately and quite frankly, this trip couldn't come any sooner.
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<br />But before I go, I am making sure to spend as much time with nicer parts of my city as I can and all the people that I love who are in it. Besides checking out The Museum of Broken Relationships and going to see "Journey's End" on Friday night, I enjoyed my Saturday at a baby shower (hosted by rocker mums) during the day and then teamed up with the South African lot in the evening for a few rums and a Jager Bomb. After a shot, scuzzy old Intrepid Fox doesn't look so scuzzy.
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<br />And so, with my plane tickets and a couple of hostels booked, the egg-timer has been turned and it's a mad dash from here on out to get the lists ticked off.
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<br />Before the last grain drops I'll be going to a pub quiz, a hen night, a wedding, a birthday dinner, my work leaving do and then finally I'll be getting all my favourite faces together one last time to toast me 'bon voyage'. I get the feeling that getting a little choked up and damp in the eyes will be quite a common occurence in the next few weeks.
<br />Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398618166952566338.post-44095011139675993992011-07-17T05:28:00.000-07:002011-07-17T05:47:11.702-07:00Twisted Air<div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-GB</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> 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mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> </div><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Feeling like the raven hours of the night</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The air twists around her</p> <p class="MsoNormal">It spirals towards a familiar</p> <p class="MsoNormal">But confuses them both</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">What she receives is distorted</p> <p class="MsoNormal">A thousand snakes over sound</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Vibrate and shake her for a feeling</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Pulsate until she reacts</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">She wants to exist in several worlds</p> <p class="MsoNormal">But none can contain her anymore</p> <p class="MsoNormal">So she stays, writhing</p> <p class="MsoNormal">With the snakes, the sound and the twisted air </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Feeling like the raven hours of the night</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Until she knows what she is</p> <p class="MsoNormal">To him, to her and to you</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv1cbLOHQZLqQ1gIPkjOKhUVCS20Os3dRQ4PNfQJNcD_XX5WAU6kbUTP4B2jn2SLAG63n60UXhfGGJZSrGJ45_eZHAP8SgCG-DR_tkqFEc01pGv6XiU-_e-sY1mmGtnvQG5rqp96gux6Pe/s1600/work.3447829.2.flat%252C550x550%252C075%252Cf.acoustic-nights_large.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv1cbLOHQZLqQ1gIPkjOKhUVCS20Os3dRQ4PNfQJNcD_XX5WAU6kbUTP4B2jn2SLAG63n60UXhfGGJZSrGJ45_eZHAP8SgCG-DR_tkqFEc01pGv6XiU-_e-sY1mmGtnvQG5rqp96gux6Pe/s320/work.3447829.2.flat%252C550x550%252C075%252Cf.acoustic-nights_large.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5630297617981795698" border="0" /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:78%;">(image from we ♥ it)</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><img style="visibility:hidden;width:0px;height:0px;" src="http://c.gigcount.com/wildfire/IMP/CXNID=2000002.0NXC/bT*xJmx*PTEzMTA5MDU3MTQyNTQmcHQ9MTMxMDkwNTg4MTg5OSZwPTE4MDMxJmQ9Jmc9MSZvPTdhNDZjOWY2YTRhNjQyMWNiNzQy/MjFhNzgzZTA*Yzkw.gif" border="0" height="0" width="0" /><embed src="http://assets.mixpod.com/swf/mp3/mp-sk.swf?myid=83865724&path=2011/07/17" quality="high" wmode="transparent" flashvars="mycolor=222222&mycolor2=77ADD1&mycolor3=FFFFFF&autoplay=false&rand=0&f=4&vol=100&pat=0&grad=false" name="myflashfetish" salign="TL" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" style="visibility:visible;width:400px;height:180px;" border="0" height="180" width="400"></embed><br /><a href="http://www.mixpod.com/playlist/83865724" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.myflashfetish.com/images/get-tracks.gif" title="Get Music Tracks!" style="border-style:none;" alt="Music" /></a><a href="http://www.mixpod.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.mixpod.com/images/make-own.gif" title="Create A Playlist!" style="border-style:none;" alt="Playlist" /></a><br /><a href="http://mixpod.com/">Music</a> <a href="http://mixpod.com/">Playlist</a> at <a href="http://mixpod.com/">MixPod.com</a><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> </div>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04234933606772633016noreply@blogger.com0